Tuesday, January 16, 2018

A Jail Cell to Vietnam #pezoutlaw #gofundmepezoutlaw

Here's the GoFundMe link
 https://www.gofundme.com/gofundmepezoutlaw


How do I explain the price to a mind in desperation.
What appears of unique value had a cost of decades.

The pain is well hidden but should be cherished.
Wisdom is gained through the survival of adversity.

Treat what you are labeled with by others as your tool box.
Your view of this world is unique, a perspective unattainable by others.

Cherish who you are, don't allow others to define you.

The story I'm about to tell had a very deep cost.
I slept with the light on for about a year following all this n it took about 20yrs to bounce back from the damage to me mentally.

So here is the hitch hiking story.
This all happened near the end of my time in the Marine Corp.  

In 1968 I decided one weekend to hitch hike my way home to see my girlfriend. A rather normal thing. Except on the way back to Quantico Virginia I was arrested for hitch hiking on the Ohio turnpike. I spent the next 30 days in county jail because I had also forgotten to get permission from the Marines. In short I did not have a pass. Being detached to the US ARMY at the time for schooling as a Cartographic draftsman. A map maker. It took the Marines a month to realize I was gone.

Fact is I could have cared less. Going through a crazy period, I had a great time. My status was AWOL, absent without leave. This gets you a private room, Maximum security in county lockup. So for the next few weeks I spent my time sleeping or messing with the guards. Here is an example of what I thought was fun at the time. The maximum security cell I was in had walls on 3 sides. The only side that had bars was the front. For me personally having your toilet in plain sight for all to see was less than modest. One morning I decided to do something about it. I used my Sunday newspaper to build a fourth wall, by weaving it through the bars. Ah privacy at last. Which I promptly took advantage of. Once I had relieved myself, the guards discovered my renovations. The guards were not pleased at all with my gesture of defiance. They promptly took it all down. Like I said crazy is easy.

Other than that I read books and slept. Until I was informed one day that a mass murderer of some kind had arrived. The State of Ohio needed my cell to house him. So off to general population I went. Not pleased at all with this turn of events.  I took the first opportunity to object, when meal time rolled around.  I took the tin tray of food being handed to me through the bars and tossed it on the closest guards.

Food fights on TV are a great source of humor. In county lockup not so much. I was placed in the hole. The hole in this jail was a 4 foot by 4 foot metal closet.  Inside The Hole was a small metal stool fixed to the floor in the middle of the room. The stool was meant to complicate an already small space. After a few hours the guard came by and said. We will let you out, if you promise to behave. I asked him. Can I go back to maximum security? He said nope, general population. I told him. I like the hole just fine. After all, it was a private room. For days they kept asking and I kept answering. No thank you, I liked it here in the hole. Finally after a few days the mass murderer was transferred out of county. So the hitch hiker was moved back to maximum security. Crazy is easy.


The rest of the Hitch Hiking story. Before I tell this part of the story I want to establish a few things. I love and respect the US Marine Corp. I also have the greatest admiration for the men and women who serve in it. The Marine Corp didn't fail me. I fail the United States Marines. I was only a Marine for nine months. That being said. The things I learned have been with me throughout my life. The Marines, Kathy and my mother each had a hand in establishing my moral compass. I haven't always measured up to it, but it is how I try to live.

I joined the Marines to escape my life of drug use and drinking since I was 15 years old. I came to the Marines already damaged goods. Also remember.  I was 17, then just turned 18 years old when this all happened. Please also remember that this was roughly 1969 during the Vietnam war. When I said warts and all I meant it. Even the parts I would rather forget. Problem is if I don't tell the whole story, you won't understand who I am. Why things that don't seem normal to you, seem very normal to me. We are all the sum and total of our life experiences.

Finally after about 30 days maximum security in the county jail of Ohio, I was escorted to my transportation back to the Marine Corp. You see my mother had been burning up the phone lines with the Marines to gain my release. When I arrived back at Quantico, I had to stand before my commanding officer. He told me my mother had assured him that I was a good boy. That he was going to handle everything administratively. Basically he was embarrassed. Nobody even knew I was gone. Having been detached to the army for training. Nobody had actually been keeping track of where I was. I had fallen through the cracks for over a month. Resulting in my 30 days of county lockup in Ohio.


Having missed my training as a map maker. 

I now had a "ONE WAY" ticket to Vietnam. 

I had one tiny problem with this. I knew if the Viet-cong didn't get me, someone from my own team might. I did not fit in anymore. My team player skills have always sucked. I'm not good with authority.  The indoctrination from boot camp, had worn off. I was again thinking independently and challenging everybody. In Vietnam this would have been a liability that would have gotten other people killed. Not being totally gone, even I knew what being fragged was. So when my commanding officer asked me if I had anything to say. Not wanting to die at 18 years old.  I indeed had a lot to say. After all why should now be different. I always had something to say or at least an opinion.

For the next 15 minutes, I had a lot to say. I told him that while on leave after boot camp I had taken LSD and shot Heroin. He asked if I had done LSD before joining the Marine Corp? I told him I had. Truth was, I had used LSD many, many times. There was one time period alone, when I had approximately 12 tabs of some blue concoction called purple haze or something. I remember vividly, it being rolled in paper like a pack of Necko's candy. Yes, I used most all of them. This was just one time period, not counting Mescaline/peyote. Sheets of paper with dozens of drops of LSD on it. Along with many other colors in tablet form. Yes sir, I had done a lot of LSD. Including freaking out twice, which back then was defined as a bad trip. Like I said I had also shot Heroin for the first time while on leave after boot camp.

All this rocked him back a bit. Thing is, I hadn't even gotten to the good part yet. Not wanting to leave my C.O. hanging I launched into the rest of the story. This part of the story is also true. What can I say. I had problems. I also was a major knuckle head.


I told my C.O. that I had been getting drunk and trying to cut my toes off. He asked me if I was telling the truth? Yes sir it is the truth. With what? A hatchet I bought at a hardware store. Where is this hatchet? In my locker. I was immediately placed under guard outside his office while two Marines went through my locker. After they found the hatchet, another guard was added to my detail which immediately escorted me to the base Psychiatrist.

The part I didn't tell him was, I had also tried on several occasions to get a friend to drive his car over my ankle. Honestly at a certain point there is such a thing as to much crazy. Rubber room or freedom. Skip the car part.

The shrink thought they had over reacted. After hearing my story he asked me. Do you still want to cut your toes off? I answered with a question. Do you think I will be discharged from the Marine Corp? His answer was very clear. Yes, you will definitely be discharged. Then no, my toes will survive. I was diagnosed Schizophrenic with masochistic tenancies. Today it would be called obsessive compulsive with a pinch of bipolar. Over the next month while I waited to go home my locker was inspected a couple more times. Not wanting to disappoint. I tried to make sure to have a hatchet in the locker for them to find. Which they would promptly take. Only to have it replaced with another. At this point, I was just screwing with them. Making them crazy was my new hobby.


Making them crazy was my new hobby. Isn't it funny how history repeats itself. Again now it's my job to make Pez Corporation nuts, by screwing with them as much as possible. Note, this is not a full time job, I only do what I can in my spare time, now that Pez Outlaw Diary is basically done.
 
After a while the Marine just let me leave. I hitch hiked home, while they handled my discharge. Believe it or not. Thanks to Jimmy Carter and the Red Cross. I now have a General discharge from the Marine Corps. That's like a "B" in school grades. Since all I ever got in school were "Cs". I guess it"s not so bad.


I left the Marines with a GED and an arm that aches, when the weather changes. You see, while being detached to the US Army I dislocated my elbow. This happened while I was doing the Armies obstacle course. My elbow was dislocated bad enough to require traction in the hospital for about a week. The Army enjoyed messing with the Marines detached to them for schooling. I always figured it was some kind of an inferiority complex.

Another quick story. Shortly after getting home I joined the Lansing chapter of the White Panthers or as I fondly remember them The Lansing Cocaine Club. Activities seemed to center around, staring out windows and mistaking Mailmen for FBI Agents. The result of Cocaine induced paranoia. Luckily I got bored and moved on after about a week.

This all must seem unbelievable, truth be told this isn't even everything.
There are still parts of this story that I've never shared.
Trigger words; Hot shower n Boots.
What can I say.  I led the charmed life of an imbecile.

Every day now it seems someone is being exposed n past behavior being revealed.
Precisely why I decided to tell you myself.
I will not live in fear of a past that made me who I am.


new profile pic captures my essence


see

Pez Outlaw Diary
for the rest of the story

Jack Black is Pez Outlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood

There, I said it out loud.
Would it be wrong to start a rumor that Jack Black is going to play Pez Outlaw in the Movie?

My dream actor to play Pez Outlaw in a movie would be Jack Black.
Jack Black is the perfect kind of crazy to play Pez Outlaw, who by definition is crazy.
The most common comment is "who would you like or think should play you".
Truth is, No idea at all, that's up to them. 

grant gustin who plays Barry Allen/the Flash would be perfect to play Joshua in a Pez Outlaw Movie.

The first big deadline on this project closes today.
Meaning, we're house hunting starting Saturday, hoping to find a new home for Pez Outlaw.
So things have a ways to go.

Out of the blue yesterday Ri says, Yeah I think ??? would be a good choice to play you in the Pez Outlaw movie. I heard this once before from Jeff Maysh.
You may have noticed I removed the name n image of the specific actor.
Reason is, I do not won't to make anyone think I prefer this or that actor to play me in the movie.
Whomever, I'm good.

Whatever choice of actor to play Pez Outlaw they make is fine with me.

Same goes for whatever story they decide to tell, I will support any n all decisions.
The project is bigger than choices of actor or direction of story.

That said I decided to reflect on if it were ???.
Guy looks about right n I was 43 when it all started.
??? from my limited knowledge seems to be able to do crazy pretty good.
He also has that correct off look that seems to be me.

I have to say this though.
If it were ???, the crazy is key.
Napkin in my left hand as I write this. 
Obsessive compulsive habits.
That twist around look as to who might be following me.
Quick personality changes from hot to cold.
Out of nowhere finishing a thought from a week ago, like no time at all had lapsed.
Laying out chairs etc in hotel rooms to impede intruders.
Flushing fingernail clippings or hair from brushes.
N remember, these were the good years.

If they go into the decade of depression that followed when I wrote Pez Outlaw Diary.
That's another emotional side.
The journey is the story.
So ???, yeah sure why not.

I will tell you this, I'm going nuts waiting for news. 
Any news, motion is enough. 



When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Monday, January 15, 2018

Rocks Float #pezoutlaw #gofundmepezoutlaw

Here's the GoFundMe link
 https://www.gofundme.com/gofundmepezoutlaw



What an interesting n odd way to look at something.
My guess is you clicked this post hunting for an enlightening metaphor. 
Of course there is one but not today, today it's about the other things that give me joy.

Yes rocks float, to clarify in dirt.
Have you ever noticed how rocks seem to work there way up to the surface.
There's a point to this. 

Over the last week I've been working on a kinda big project.
Moving a barn n creating a circle drive.
Barn was in a bog n smack in the middle of where I wanted to put the circle drive.

I'd put a large amount of rocks at the entrances to the barn.
Well if I'd left them there they'd have just work up n killed the mower.
So I dug them all out n used them as a base for the drive.

The project is going well, but it would go better if I had any money.
What I wouldn't give for 5 six inch 8ft fence posts, 6 of 12ft 4x4s n 6 sheets of 3/4 OSB.
Make do n increase the labor quotient.

Temp is about 80 now n the work has been brutal.
Chores, manure removal, getting hay, then the projects.
4 hrs to mow, then weed whacking, plus the gardens.

Yesterday was stump removal day, got 5 of them out, 3 to go.
Did I mention that I do this shit alone.
Well me the tractor n Billy Dog.

This morning I got up n to my surprise I felt pretty good.
Felt like crapp for about a week.
Just plain wore out.

When I was a child I played football in 9th n 10th grade.
Workouts began in August.
We're talking exercise till you puke workouts.

This spring has been that same kind of rough.
10 days ago I thought I was getting back in shape after winter.
Silly Rabbit.

The last week has been a whole new level of tired.
You push up to the line n hydrate.
Collapse n do it again the next day n the next day.

I know where the line is.
Muscles start cramping from fatigue.
You needed to stop half hr ago. 

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate.
I drink 48 oz of water in summer each day while I work.
I also drink 16 oz of Electric Lights liquid. 

Electric lights is intentional so no comments.
I'll live in my world, you live in yours.
My ways more fun.

Then you wake up one morning n you don't feel to bad.
Actually feel kinda good.
I like work, it keeps the mind busy.

Anyway, Rocks Float.

I just realized something.
I'm not invested in any particular post.
Me, just talking. 
I'm perfectly happy to let readers decide what they like.

here's what you think.




After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary





















































Sunday, January 14, 2018

Big Fish Mystery #pezoutlaw #gofundmepezoutlaw

My Christmas Wish is to be in the top 10 search list on twitter.

Here's the GoFundMe link
 https://www.gofundme.com/gofundmepezoutlaw




Case File 19. 


13 years ago I was in Paris.
No idea what the future held.
Do I really want to know?

Shadows fall.
How do I fit my dreams into this reality?
The Absurdity of life is intoxicating.

Don't tell people what you know is true.
Wear the face people expect to see. 
Mustn't appear different.

I keep going back to 51% Sane.
Are you ready for what's coming?
Maybe I wasn't

Bones in the crawl space? 
If not for crazy, reality would kill me. 
The shame of Time lost.

The cycle repeats.
My Angel is gone. 
Maybe Today.

Nothing is fixed.
Neglected past, unrecognized present.
Fantasy the last refuge.

The tears of a child for his future.
A window from that moment to this?
Is it yet to come?

I can't control how others see me.
That's their truth.
Crazy would be to try.


I came here expecting nothing.
Truth revealed itself.
Shame fell away.

A liberating truth.
Labels became assets.
Clarity, before darkness claims it's own.

Champion, Rocks Float , 8,560 views.
4 posts in Notes From The Asylum have well over 6,000 views each.

NFTA currently is at 510,000 views overall. 
My twitter page has had approx 5million impressions.


*******************************

"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas


I like to think of life like the the stars in the sky.
Each star is a moment in time or a thought.
With NFTA I try to pluck some of those moments to create a stream of thought.

I understand that abstract thought is not every-bodies cup of tea.
Those that don't get or like it, don't.
Those that do, I treasure.

Life is just the agreed upon version of crazy.
My search is connect the unconnected dot that we usually can't see.
Big Fish was a gift, that I'm very grateful for.

The title always comes first.
The words fall down underneath it.
The Universe in all its forms will speak to you if you are listening.

I have no use for the past n little for the present.
My interest is the moments in between.
Moments of clarity, a brief conversation with the unseen.

Reality is tedious, but moments of clarity are delicious.
I live each day in the hope of those brief moments.
I don't get them every day or even once a week, but often enough that I wait for each one.

That's why I'm so grateful for Big Fish.
The title is the key that unlocks the door.
Within is that which feeds my soul. 

Abstract thought is like dancing between raindrops n not getting wet.
The raindrops of the past, the present n the future.
What I want can only be found between the drops of rain.


*******************************

I really like Big Fish Mystery.
In my attempts to create abstraction with words, to date it's my best.
I really hope that you agree. 

Big Fish is now at over 5,000 views n at the top of my A-List. 
When you love something it feels really good to see approval. 

? some perspective might shed light.
I have cut approx 300 of the 520 posts I've written.
It used to be I cut a post if it only achieved 250 views in say 4 months.
Now posts with 500+ views get cut, I only want the best on Notes From The Asylum.
Very soon that bar will be any post with less than 1,000 views will get cut from NFTA.
Number of views are like ratings here at the Asylum, just like TV low ratings get cut.

Notes From The Asylum is just under 2yrs old.
It used to take 6months to a year for a post to hit 1,000 views.
Only 2 other posts have had this type of success out of the 500 posts I've written n the 194 that have survived on NFTA.
That said though over a dozen posts are now at over 2,000 views ea.
1 post is at over 4,000 views, 2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #holly...

Of all the things I've done in my life, I would find the most gratification in Notes From The Asylum being published. 
NFTA is creation n I love that most of all.

Within the next 2 months Notes From The Asylum will reach a very big milestone.
Unfortunately, to broadcast it might not be something I should share.

*****************************

To my knowledge Congress nor the President are going to pass a law giving Pez Outlaw success.

So Forgive me, I just feel if my life is gonna change, I gotta do it.
Various administrations come n they go, my destiny is up to me.
So Holidays etc, I continue to work. 

Other peoples good fortune is there's not mine.
I choose not to live through there success or failure.
To do so would diffuse my efforts. 

Congratulations n good luck but honestly it will not change my life.
Only my efforts can be mine or change my life.
That said we continue, I have daily goals that must be met. 

***************************************************


Today my mood like my Boots has a lot of mud on it.
Have you ever noticed how your mood reflects the weather?

Yesterday one of the gals had a really good day with her horse.
She was walking around on cloud 9 n didn't want the day to end.

It's all perspective isn't it.
I've been slogging around in 4 inches of mud for 4 days now, so my perspective is different.

It's all where you stand.
Nice hard ground n enclosed arena or out in the pens like me n the horses.

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 

Totally off subject.
Recently I was made aware of a Blue Dog needing a home.
I just couldn't, I need a Big Red Dog.
Like Maggie Thatcher said, I'm getting Wobbly.
Big Red Dogs (Bull Mastiff's) are my Spirit Guides. 
Yes, I believe in that stuff with all my heart.
It's been to long.

Just dawned on me, maybe that's her name.
Maggie. 

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


Saturday, January 13, 2018

2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #gofundmepezoutlaw

Here's the GoFundMe link
 https://www.gofundme.com/gofundmepezoutlaw

I tell you what! If I coulda got last nights 20thousand write in votes that people did instead of Roy Moore, we'd be well on our way now.
Voting for Pez Outlaw in every election is the same thing as telling the establishment that you think there a bunch of idiots. Let Pez Outlaw be your symbol of rebellion.

If you elect me President of the United States, 

Everybody Gets A Puppy.

VOTE Pez Outlaw for President

It's for the children.


YES, I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!
This is not a joke.
The way I figure it is this, if you're gonna waste your vote on someone who is not gonna win, make that vote me.
I always wanted to be a US congressman or senator, but I'll settle for President.
I'm seriously asking you to write in Pez Outlaw as your vote for President in 2020.
How could you possibly do worse?



If it's good enough for Urkel, it's good enough for me. 

















I figure if I can get the CRAZY vote  that I'm a shoe in for President in 2020.








Wouldn't it be cool if there was a Pez Outlaw For President pin like this pic.



I'm crowd funding votes for Pez Outlaw for president



I'm attempting to crowd fund your write in vote for Pez Outlaw for president as publicity to get a book published.





It's for the children

PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT
It's for the children, puppies n kittens.








WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT in 2020
I'm a Strong believer in nepotism, I Will fill as many positions as possible with family members.
  

the caliber of my appointees..



If elected President I only think it's fair to give you an idea of the caliber of my appointees..
 











Every Dead person that can should get out n Vote Pez Outlaw for President






WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT

Presidential Qualifications
I shovel Horse Shit for a living.



Every Presidential election year a lot of Americans decide to not vote for any of the candidates for President on the ballot. These voters instead choose to write in a name of there own for President as a gesture of defiance concerning what is on offer. These write in votes are a right in our election process but unfortunately count very little in the end. My hope is that if you are going to write in a candidate for President that you make your protest in the name Pez Outlaw. If I can get enough people who write in a candidate for president to write in Pez Outlaw a secondary good will come from your act of protest. Your vote might also have the secondary effect of getting me a book deal. 

Your write in vote will gain you nothing, so why not let it do some good for somebody else. ME! To address a concern you might have as to how good a writer I actually am. For this book I'm trying to get published with the help of you writing in Pez Outlaw for President. I'm already under contract with the ghost writer Jeff Maysh who wrote the April 2015 Playboy story The Pez Outlaw see-  http://www.playboy.com/articles/pez-outlaw   which won 2 writing awards. see- Pez Outlaw Wins 2 Awards #pezoutlaw #hollywood    

So I'm asking you to Vote Pez Outlaw as a write in for President. You know that you are going to do it anyway, all I'm asking is that you let that act of protest have a secondary good by making your write in vote for president be Pez Outlaw.

I love this straight jacket pic.



Because there are so many voices/personalities in my head, my campaign is fully staffed.
Pez Outlaw for President.   









I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time


I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time #pezoutlaw #hollywood: VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8, 2020



I want to recycle your write in protest vote for president into something new, a Pez Outlaw Book. Vote Pez Outlaw for President.



My philosophy on life is this. You never give up, never give in n never quit trying. Try everything no matter how foolish others might think you are for attempting it. That you do is what separates you from those who only wish for things. I have now spent almost 2 decades on this 1 project, that's the dedication to a dreams fulfillment that it takes.




I have zero money, but even that to me is no excuse. As always the trick is to find the loophole n exploit it. I have my story so for me this time that loophole is the great equalizer of the internet. With the internet I can without money pursue my dream of a Pez Outlaw book. If you write in Pez Outlaw for president this year, my dream of a book could come true.

At first glance I accept how crazy this idea seems, but if people who write in a vote for president choose Pez Outlaw, it will work.
That old thing, it's so crazy, it might just work.
VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT

Pez Outlaw For President, Recent campaign rally.

Donald trump might get 10,000 to 15,000 people at a rally, but look how many people we got in a phone booth.

Yes we held a campaign rally in a phone booth, it was the only place we could get, but we packed em in. 




Cabinet Meeting of my administration

I promise as President to do absolutely nothing except take pointless trips on Airforce 1 n play Golf.



From the big brain room






VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT has 7,000 views so far.  

In my reality, only my numbers are relevant.












I'm shamelessly seeking validation n approval, hence the following.

Google+ Followers, please give VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT post a G+1 positive feedback.


Within insanity, find good
Out of chaos, find purpose
Solutions are found in the most unlikely of places
To find answers, you must have eyes that can see
Faith n belief in yourself, will carry you  

This crazy pretend world I've created is where I find refuge from the harsh n painful realities of life. My dreams are what sustain me. All my crazy schemes give me hope.

Now, On With The Show

I'm campaigning for the Mickey Mouse, Evan McMullin, Gary Johnson n Jill Stein Vote. 

VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8
Why Not, could I possibly be worse?


America has a long n proud history of crazy people running for President.
My turn.

"As President, I Pez Outlaw couldn't possibly do worse."
Pez Outlaw for President yard sign.
Pez Outlaw for President, Better than Mickey Mouse. 

It's a race to the bottom for President, Vote Pez Outlaw for President because I'm it.
So if you're looking for the bottom of the barrel for President, look no further, Pez Outlaw. 
In a year of bad choices for President, Why not make the worst choice, Pez Outlaw.


Are you better off than you were 8yrs ago?
Things could be worse, Vote Pez Outlaw for President. 

A Vote for Pez Outlaw is a vote for ummmmmm yup change.

If elected I promise a 1957 Ford Truck in every garage.
You'll thank me later, after the pulse.

Pez Outlaw for President Campaign slogan.
My best friend has a favorite stick.
Though her favorite stick changes every few days, they wear out.

I  know a lot of folks are terribly conflicted this year n are gonna write in a crazy name in protest.
I'm here to ask for that vote.
Write in any other name is just a shameful waste. 
Make your write in vote PEZ OUTLAW for president because I might get a book deal out of it.
From my perspective that vote then would not have been wasted. 

Think of your write in vote of PEZ OUTLAW for president as crowd funding a book deal for me.

Every Presidential election year a significant number of people vote for Mickey Mouse.
I'm asking for the Mickey Mouse vote.
Let's make it Pez Outlaw this time.

I know a lot of people are ashamed to say who they are voting for right now.
Say PEZ OUTLAW for President with pride. 

If mistakenly elected President, I promise to only serve 90 days, just long enough to get a great retirement package.

As President I promise that all my speeches will be pointless rambling about nothing n made up stuff.
As president many of my speeches would simply be "Dude" then, he gone.

As President I would rent out every room in the White House like a bed n breakfast to raise money to pay down the National debt. 

As President I would turn the White House front lawn into a horse pasture for the Old Man n his Buds. 


As President all motorcades would include me on my tractor moving at a snails pace. 

As President besides doing nothing, I promise to also stand for nothing. 

I promise as President it would be like I wasn't even there. 


But Wait There's More, Act now n..........


Here's the book Pez Outlaw Diary 
It's FREE online to read, right now.




After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, January 12, 2018

Secrets #pezoutlaw #gofundmepezoutlaw

Here's the GoFundMe link
 https://www.gofundme.com/gofundmepezoutlaw


Pez Outlaw
My grandson wants my life n I want my dog Proby's life.

Why are people determined to draw you into the things they find interesting?
I refuse to waste my time on all the useless endeavors of others.
Computer n Cell Phone obsession is the worst, what a bunch of drivel.
Please attend this or join me at that.
NO! 
Then the guilting, but it would make me happy if you did.
Does it count for nothing that it would make me miserable n potentially suicidal? 
People need to hear the word NO more.
You say NO nowadays n people react like you killed a puppy.

Revealing truth is liberating.
Withholding truth makes you vulnerable.
Secrets are a cancer on your soul.
Yet life is filled with secrets.

You can't live without relationships.
Though the maintenance is set with Booby-traps.
One wrong step n that spiky thing comes at you.
When did it get so complicated.

You'd think honesty would protect you.
Some days I get wore out from careful conversation. 
The truth is, you can't be honest with people.
Total honesty repels people. 

I just apologized to a friend for saying what's on my mind.
I wish it was the first time.
I told him that I seem to have a talent for making people not want to talk to me.
Just an observation, how much it matters I'm uncertain of.

So you hold your thoughts close.
Until that one person who gets you, Joshua my son says something.
N you almost scream in response, Yeah!
The response is almost a cry of relief.

Then Joshua says something else n again halfway though you shout, YEAH!
Thinking all the while, Why don't others seem to see it.
Then Josh says people are telling him he's becoming more like me by the day.
It was inevitable, I am my father, Joshua is me n Danny or Jake will be Joshua.

So what's the point?
There is none, just frustration.
People say they want the truth or an honest answer, but they really don't.
They want to hear whatever version makes them feel OK with themselves.

Problem is that I usually know what I want and what I think.
Where I get in trouble is when I share it.
Are there rules I don't know how to follow?
Is this written down somewhere?

I've met people who look scared at the thought of saying what they want.
N if you press them, it angers them, like I'm somehow not respecting the process.
I see this over n over and I still don't understand it.
I am willing to accept what I want, To some what they want is a process.

People say I get there to quick, n that I'm impatient.
The thing is that I know what I want n time is slipping away.
With Pez, What made me different?
Really simple. I saw something n I acted on it, while others thought about acting. 

I'm as puzzled today at almost 65 as I was a child of 5. 
I'm not delusional, I don't think that this is brilliant. 
I'm just purging. 
My imaginary shrink says I need to write things down.

It's like I told Josh, write it out straight, then make it abstract.
Because if you say it straight it offends people.
Keep it vague n people can interpret the meaning to there liking.
Truth can be liberating but it can also be cruel or unwanted.

That n I believe I push to hard.
For which I'm truly sorry.
But we know I won't change.
It's like the scorpion n the river, It's my nature.

I will say this though.
I may know what I think from given information.
Though I have no idea what that information will be.
Meaning, I have no idea what the future holds.

I know what I want but it's in the hands of those pesky relationships.
N Yup you guessed it, they don't want to talk to me.
A Feller could get a complex, were it not for ego. 
I'm OK, You're OK. Are we good?

I remain. 
Not a Damn clue. 
Yours.
Pez Outlaw.

Thank God, it's time for therapy.
Smiley Face, today we get Jello or is it Pudding?
See what I mean?

My imaginary Shrink says, It only matters if you pretend to know if it's pudding or Jello. 

The Title should have been Jello or Pudding. 
Should I change it?
I like my life, I do things the way I like.
Example is the 4 line verse I use here, just because I like it.

We went on a deep dive today.
Hopefully it was amusing. 

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 
On the flip side, sometimes you delete posts because they made it sound like you care more than you actually do.
 
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


Thursday, January 11, 2018

Him n Me - Pez Today #pezoutlaw #gofundmepezoutlaw

Here's the GoFundMe link
 https://www.gofundme.com/gofundmepezoutlaw


Saddle Up n Put on Your Rain Poncho's boys n girls.
I'll show you how it should be.
You only think you've seen crazy?
The best is yet to come.

Pez Today Lacks Vision
It needs a Wham Bam Thank You Mam Crazy Person to add some creative mythology.
In short, more story, more depth n more of a creative input, more performance art as narration.

I say this for many reasons.
Starting with, 
How long can Pez Corporation live off my old ideas, "crystals, glow in the dark n color variations".
How much money would I have if I'd received just 1 penny for every Bubble man, Crystal, glow in the dark or color variation dispenser Pez corp has sold since 1998.
My guess, well over $100,000.00.

The above is my resumes for the job of kick starting another revival of Pez like I did before.
Pez Outlaw, Can you still bring the crazy that's needed?
Does a bear poo in the woods?
Sheldon that means YES! 

This time though you'd get more of a Howard Hughes Pez Outlaw than the sj glew Pez Outlaw of old.
Would that be a good thing?
Yes, a mysterious reclusive Pez Outlaw adds Myth, much written by necessity of the absence of data.
Also, if The New Pez Outlaw is a recluse, doesn't that make the few sightings of him more of an event worthy of attending.

Yes I write about Pez Outlaw in the 3rd person.
2 reasons.
1. I view Pez Outlaw as a character that embodies that part of my life.
2. If I can separate myself from him n I can (diagnosed schizophrenic in 1969) then I can as an outsider manage n promote him/Pez Outlaw.

To tell you the truth, Pez Outlaw n I are 2 very different people that bleed over into each other.
Me, I'm a recluse, not an extrovert characteristic in my body.
Pez Outlaw is larger than life itself n I really like him.
I can pour all the things I wouldn't n couldn't do into him.
Pez Outlaw is like a surrogate (Bruce Willis movie) I can step into to enter your world.

This though does create quite a few schisms between Pez Outlaw n myself.
Pez Outlaw believes all things I write about are possible n likely.
Me, not so much because I'm the skeptic.
Pez Outlaw thinks there will be a movie or that Pez Corp would of course make the Pez Outlaw collection.
On the other hand I myself believe both have a snowballs chance in hell.
Truth is that I let him run with those fantasies because it makes him happy n what harm is there in letting him believe.
Kinda like, Why would you tell a 5yr old that there's no Santa Claus.
It makes him happy.

I'm not sure that I should've revealed those truths, might adversely affect dk, jeff n Pez Corp.
Is it a good idea to let dk, jeff n pez corp know that you view them as a waste of time that you indulge to pacify one of the personalities in your head.
At that I'm leaving out Biff Rose n Thorn-apple Trees.
Screw it, you deserve the truth, just this once.
So you've got perspective for the future. 

This one addendum to the above.
I may not believe in those mentioned but I do believe in Pez Outlaw.
I'm not the problem as repeatedly told (yeah that really stuck in my craw), 
I'm the solution.
Ammmmmm..... I mean He Is. Pez Outlaw, you know not me?


I didn't say all that, He Did.
the guy in the pic. so blame him not me.
************

On the collector side it also lacks vision.
I  recently offered 2,500 banks at .75cents per.
Cheap right! But it seems the ability to see how you could sell or use that many is gone.
I used to buy up to 10,000 per type of a dispenser knowing I could sell them all.
The vision is so much smaller now.


Fantasy Pez
They scare the hell out of me as to the future of Pez Collecting.
Best example a guy showing a Kooky Zoo Elephant clear blueish he created talking about his discovery of pressure method or something.
When the line between real n fantasy blurs this much, it is not a good thing.

Known Universe is becoming to large to wrap your mind around.
Say 1,000 known dispensers in approx 1994.
Today triple that n Pez Corp is going crazy creating everything they can license or imagine.
There needs to be a new demarcation point, similar to no feet to footed.
This is way over due.

Travel.
This morning I'm listening to Serious XM The Highway n the dj is talking about a singer traveling in Europe.
For the first time in a decade n a half I thought, Yeah I could do that again.
You have to wonder how Pez Corp would feel about a resurgence of Pez Outlaw in there lives.

With all I've written, here's something still untold.
I've never written or told anyone who my real contacts were.
I've protected these sources for over 2 decades n never will reveal them.
Yes I've mentioned some, but only the unimportant ones.
No matter how rough things have gotten, even when offered money, I've declined.
You can't buy or sell relationships.

Pez Outlaw Diary Book publishing rights 4sale by owner 75k


My impression from ebay is that Pez is in a slump.
David has MMM's I sold 20yrs ago for $25 to $35 at $26.00.
Generally I just don't see enthusiasm.

Makes me think Pez needs a good kick in the pants.
Would a big Pez Outlaw thingy be just the medicine?
A nationwide whamp of excitement n spotlight.

By now you all know me better from my writing in Notes From The Asylum.
I really don't like the spotlight, I prefer my quiet life.
If this thing happens I will make it about Pez Outlaw n Pez not me.

My hope is that all of you will use this opportunity for yourselves n the hobby of collecting Pez.
I have absolutely no problem with stepping back n letting you all have some fun with it.
Like Chancy Gardener said, "I like to watch".

Once this happens I believe it would be better served by a thousand points of light than one.
I won't need to tell you when to begin, it will be obvious.
Step forward n use it with my blessing, the more you do, the less I will have to. 

Lately I've become a fan of the pre2016 British Top Gear, because those guys were seriously nuts. (I don't care who hit who, FUNNY IS FUNNY! quit being so PC n fix it. comedy is supposed to be irreverent n anarchistic.) more (I'm not saying Matt Lablanc n that other guys 2016 show is awful, It's just not the Top Gear I like with Captain Slow, The Hamster n the Big Ape.)
The point is the crazy stuff Jeremy says in his intros to The Stig.
Make up all kinds of outlandish stories n recollections of Pez Outlaw.

The crazier the better.
Who am I to say it's not true. 
Pez Outlaw needs to become as much myth as Legend.
1st known photo of Pez Outlaw - 1957

Examples:
Pez Outlaw once walked the entire length of the Great Wall of China backwards because he thought he was being followed.
Pez Outlaw was offered the Presidency of Pez Corporation but couldn't afford the pay cut. 
Certain facts in the History of Pez Outlaw are true, but that doesn't mean everything needs to be.

Pez Outlaw came to being because of Pez n the Hobby of Collecting Pez.
In that sense Pez Outlaw n his story belongs to you also.
So have fun with it, "It's always better to ask forgiveness than Permission".

I mentioned how major dealers are selling pez at or below what I sold for 20 yrs ago.
To illustrate.

Pez I bought under questionable providence, I paid $1.25 each. 
Add to that the following costs;
Ticket to Europe n back approx $800 to $900.00
Car approx $500. to $800.00
Hotel $300 to $500.00
Extra luggage fee approx $300.00
Food etc $300.00

Point being any pez I brought into the USA from Europe had a base cost of approx $2.00 ea.
I'm just saying that I do not understand the low prices I'm seeing on ebay.

If? IF!
We'll see what we can do about that.
One last ride by Pez Outlaw.

If it happens Saddle Up n Put on Your Rain Poncho's boys n girls.
I'll show you how it should be.

Ask the folks who were at the conventions we attended.
They'll tell you what good times look like. 

True or False

Josh n I once ran around a Pez Convention in Gorilla Costumes. True.

I once turned over half a refrigerator box of Pez in the middle of the floor of a Pez Convention as a free mad scramble give away. True. actually twice, Cleveland n LA.

Pez Outlaw once drove his rental car through a mall area in downtown Vienna. True.

Pez Outlaw was held at gun point by Police/Military. True, this happened at least 2 to 3 times.

Anyway that's it for today.
Time to go be EB, putting final touches on tin horse shed today.
Yippie it's done, now on to the circle drive.

I thought this post was fun, hope you did to. 
1200 views in 48hrs. thank you so much for your support. 

Psycho Lucy

Psycho Lucy is probably one of the most underrated Pez dispensers ever made in a very short run. approx 300 were made, current value is $100 to $150.00

Psycho Lucy, one of Pez Outlaw's children.
Psycho Lucy was the first in a long line of Pez Outlaw Pez dispensers. Thank god this one was not duplicated by Pez USA.

Psycho Lucy is one of my fondest memories.  Black Santa n Psycho Lucy were the 2 best things to come out of my Pez years.

Psycho Lucy Pez dispenser. White paint on face instead of black. I asked Marco if he could make a Lucy Pez dispenser with white eyes. Somehow in translation this came out a White face Lucy Pez dispenser. So he created normal Lucy Pez dispenser but all face detailing done with white paint. This Pez dispenser was thought of because of the Lucy with White eyes. Marco created about 300 of this Pez dispensers for me. 

I named her Psycho Lucy because my first reaction when he showed this Pez dispenser to me was. She looks Psycho.

Most of what I did as Pez Outlaw was equal parts luck n perseverance. 
The key though is that you have to show up or luck just passes you by.
What a wonderful accident she was.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary