Friday, September 15, 2017

Rocks Float #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw #NFTA

What an interesting n odd way to look at something.
My guess is you clicked this post hunting for an enlightening metaphor. 
Of course there is one but not today, today it's about the other things that give me joy.

Yes rocks float, to clarify in dirt.
Have you ever noticed how rocks seem to work there way up to the surface.
There's a point to this. 

Over the last week I've been working on a kinda big project.
Moving a barn n creating a circle drive.
Barn was in a bog n smack in the middle of where I wanted to put the circle drive.

I'd put a large amount of rocks at the entrances to the barn.
Well if I'd left them there they'd have just work up n killed the mower.
So I dug them all out n used them as a base for the drive.

The project is going well, but it would go better if I had any money.
What I wouldn't give for 5 six inch 8ft fence posts, 6 of 12ft 4x4s n 6 sheets of 3/4 OSB.
Make do n increase the labor quotient.

Temp is about 80 now n the work has been brutal.
Chores, manure removal, getting hay, then the projects.
4 hrs to mow, then weed whacking, plus the gardens.

Yesterday was stump removal day, got 5 of them out, 3 to go.
Did I mention that I do this shit alone.
Well me the tractor n Billy Dog.

This morning I got up n to my surprise I felt pretty good.
Felt like crapp for about a week.
Just plain wore out.

When I was a child I played football in 9th n 10th grade.
Workouts began in August.
We're talking exercise till you puke workouts.

This spring has been that same kind of rough.
10 days ago I thought I was getting back in shape after winter.
Silly Rabbit.

The last week has been a whole new level of tired.
You push up to the line n hydrate.
Collapse n do it again the next day n the next day.

I know where the line is.
Muscles start cramping from fatigue.
You needed to stop half hr ago. 

Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate.
I drink 48 oz of water in summer each day while I work.
I also drink 16 oz of Electric Lights liquid. 

Electric lights is intentional so no comments.
I'll live in my world, you live in yours.
My ways more fun.

Then you wake up one morning n you don't feel to bad.
Actually feel kinda good.
I like work, it keeps the mind busy.

Anyway, Rocks Float.

I just realized something.
I'm not invested in any particular post.
Me, just talking. 
I'm perfectly happy to let readers decide what they like.

here's what you think.




After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary





















































Thursday, September 14, 2017

Big Fish Mystery #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

I used to think that all sorts of things really mattered n were worth getting upset about.
Not so much anymore.
You wonder, but you don't want to bother folks.




Case File 19. 


13 years ago I was in Paris.
No idea what the future held.
Do I really want to know?

Shadows fall.
How do I fit my dreams into this reality?
The Absurdity of life is intoxicating.

Don't tell people what you know is true.
Wear the face people expect to see. 
Mustn't appear different.

I keep going back to 51% Sane.
Are you ready for what's coming?
Maybe I wasn't

Bones in the crawl space? 
If not for crazy, reality would kill me. 
The shame of Time lost.

The cycle repeats.
My Angel is gone. 
Maybe Today.

Nothing is fixed.
Neglected past, unrecognized present.
Fantasy the last refuge.

The tears of a child for his future.
A window from that moment to this?
Is it yet to come?

I can't control how others see me.
That's their truth.
Crazy would be to try.


I came here expecting nothing.
Truth revealed itself.
Shame fell away.

A liberating truth.
Labels became assets.
Clarity, before darkness claims it's own.

Champion, Rocks Float , 7,655 views.
4 posts in Notes From The Asylum have well over 4,000 views each.

NFTA currently is at 500,000 views overall. 
My twitter page has had approx 5million impressions.


*******************************

"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas


I like to think of life like the the stars in the sky.
Each star is a moment in time or a thought.
With NFTA I try to pluck some of those moments to create a stream of thought.

I understand that abstract thought is not every-bodies cup of tea.
Those that don't get or like it, don't.
Those that do, I treasure.

Life is just the agreed upon version of crazy.
My search is connect the unconnected dot that we usually can't see.
Big Fish was a gift, that I'm very grateful for.

The title always comes first.
The words fall down underneath it.
The Universe in all its forms will speak to you if you are listening.

I have no use for the past n little for the present.
My interest is the moments in between.
Moments of clarity, a brief conversation with the unseen.

Reality is tedious, but moments of clarity are delicious.
I live each day in the hope of those brief moments.
I don't get them every day or even once a week, but often enough that I wait for each one.

That's why I'm so grateful for Big Fish.
The title is the key that unlocks the door.
Within is that which feeds my soul. 

Abstract thought is like dancing between raindrops n not getting wet.
The raindrops of the past, the present n the future.
What I want can only be found between the drops of rain.


*******************************

I really like Big Fish Mystery.
In my attempts to create abstraction with words, to date it's my best.
I really hope that you agree. 

Big Fish is now at over 5,000 views n at the top of my A-List. 
When you love something it feels really good to see approval. 

? some perspective might shed light.
I have cut approx 300 of the 520 posts I've written.
It used to be I cut a post if it only achieved 250 views in say 4 months.
Now posts with 500+ views get cut, I only want the best on Notes From The Asylum.
Very soon that bar will be any post with less than 1,000 views will get cut from NFTA.
Number of views are like ratings here at the Asylum, just like TV low ratings get cut.

Notes From The Asylum is just under 2yrs old.
It used to take 6months to a year for a post to hit 1,000 views.
Only 2 other posts have had this type of success out of the 500 posts I've written n the 194 that have survived on NFTA.
That said though over a dozen posts are now at over 2,000 views ea.
1 post is at over 4,000 views, 2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #holly...

Of all the things I've done in my life, I would find the most gratification in Notes From The Asylum being published. 
NFTA is creation n I love that most of all.

Within the next 2 months Notes From The Asylum will reach a very big milestone.
Unfortunately, to broadcast it might not be something I should share.

*****************************

To my knowledge Congress nor the President are going to pass a law giving Pez Outlaw success.

So Forgive me, I just feel if my life is gonna change, I gotta do it.
Various administrations come n they go, my destiny is up to me.
So Holidays etc, I continue to work. 

Other peoples good fortune is there's not mine.
I choose not to live through there success or failure.
To do so would diffuse my efforts. 

Congratulations n good luck but honestly it will not change my life.
Only my efforts can be mine or change my life.
That said we continue, I have daily goals that must be met. 

***************************************************


Today my mood like my Boots has a lot of mud on it.
Have you ever noticed how your mood reflects the weather?

Yesterday one of the gals had a really good day with her horse.
She was walking around on cloud 9 n didn't want the day to end.

It's all perspective isn't it.
I've been slogging around in 4 inches of mud for 4 days now, so my perspective is different.

It's all where you stand.
Nice hard ground n enclosed arena or out in the pens like me n the horses.

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 

Totally off subject.
Recently I was made aware of a Blue Dog needing a home.
I just couldn't, I need a Big Red Dog.
Like Maggie Thatcher said, I'm getting Wobbly.
Big Red Dogs (Bull Mastiff's) are my Spirit Guides. 
Yes, I believe in that stuff with all my heart.
It's been to long.

Just dawned on me, maybe that's her name.
Maggie. 

When you ask to be friended or follow me, make sure it's what you really want, because I'm relentless in pursuit of my goals.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Secrets #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA



Pez Outlaw
My grandson wants my life n I want my dog Proby's life.

Why are people determined to draw you into the things they find interesting?
I refuse to waste my time on all the useless endeavors of others.
Computer n Cell Phone obsession is the worst, what a bunch of drivel.
Please attend this or join me at that.
NO! 
Then the guilting, but it would make me happy if you did.
Does it count for nothing that it would make me miserable n potentially suicidal? 
People need to hear the word NO more.
You say NO nowadays n people react like you killed a puppy.

Revealing truth is liberating.
Withholding truth makes you vulnerable.
Secrets are a cancer on your soul.
Yet life is filled with secrets.

You can't live without relationships.
Though the maintenance is set with Booby-traps.
One wrong step n that spiky thing comes at you.
When did it get so complicated.

You'd think honesty would protect you.
Some days I get wore out from careful conversation. 
The truth is, you can't be honest with people.
Total honesty repels people. 

I just apologized to a friend for saying what's on my mind.
I wish it was the first time.
I told him that I seem to have a talent for making people not want to talk to me.
Just an observation, how much it matters I'm uncertain of.

So you hold your thoughts close.
Until that one person who gets you, Joshua my son says something.
N you almost scream in response, Yeah!
The response is almost a cry of relief.

Then Joshua says something else n again halfway though you shout, YEAH!
Thinking all the while, Why don't others seem to see it.
Then Josh says people are telling him he's becoming more like me by the day.
It was inevitable, I am my father, Joshua is me n Danny or Jake will be Joshua.

So what's the point?
There is none, just frustration.
People say they want the truth or an honest answer, but they really don't.
They want to hear whatever version makes them feel OK with themselves.

Problem is that I usually know what I want and what I think.
Where I get in trouble is when I share it.
Are there rules I don't know how to follow?
Is this written down somewhere?

I've met people who look scared at the thought of saying what they want.
N if you press them, it angers them, like I'm somehow not respecting the process.
I see this over n over and I still don't understand it.
I am willing to accept what I want, To some what they want is a process.

People say I get there to quick, n that I'm impatient.
The thing is that I know what I want n time is slipping away.
With Pez, What made me different?
Really simple. I saw something n I acted on it, while others thought about acting. 

I'm as puzzled today at almost 65 as I was a child of 5. 
I'm not delusional, I don't think that this is brilliant. 
I'm just purging. 
My imaginary shrink says I need to write things down.

It's like I told Josh, write it out straight, then make it abstract.
Because if you say it straight it offends people.
Keep it vague n people can interpret the meaning to there liking.
Truth can be liberating but it can also be cruel or unwanted.

That n I believe I push to hard.
For which I'm truly sorry.
But we know I won't change.
It's like the scorpion n the river, It's my nature.

I will say this though.
I may know what I think from given information.
Though I have no idea what that information will be.
Meaning, I have no idea what the future holds.

I know what I want but it's in the hands of those pesky relationships.
N Yup you guessed it, they don't want to talk to me.
A Feller could get a complex, were it not for ego. 
I'm OK, You're OK. Are we good?

I remain. 
Not a Damn clue. 
Yours.
Pez Outlaw.

Thank God, it's time for therapy.
Smiley Face, today we get Jello or is it Pudding?
See what I mean?

My imaginary Shrink says, It only matters if you pretend to know if it's pudding or Jello. 

The Title should have been Jello or Pudding. 
Should I change it?
I like my life, I do things the way I like.
Example is the 4 line verse I use here, just because I like it.

We went on a deep dive today.
Hopefully it was amusing. 

Of all the posts I've written in Notes From The Asylum, Big Fish n Secrets are my favorites. 
On the flip side, sometimes you delete posts because they made it sound like you care more than you actually do.
 
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


2020 ☑️ PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

YES, I PEZ OUTLAW AM RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!
This is not a joke.
The way I figure it is this, if you're gonna waste your vote on someone who is not gonna win, make that vote me.
I always wanted to be a US congressman or senator, but I'll settle for President.
I'm seriously asking you to write in Pez Outlaw as your vote for President in 2020.
How could you possibly do worse?


2020 Campaign Slogan.
If it's good enough for Urkel, it's good enough for me. 
















Old men start slow. 
It takes 4 years to get our momentum going.
In 2016 I ran a 4 week campaign, for 2020 I figured I'd run a 4 year campaign.
Failure is no excuse for not trying again. 

To those who chant the mantra against "The Permanent Campaign". 
Yo Mama.

I intend to spend the same amount of money in my 2020 run for President as I did in my 2016 run. ZERO! 
I figure if I can get the CRAZY vote  that I'm a shoe in for President in 2020.
What? I waited 4 weeks to announce.




I view life as performance art.
Pez Outlaw For President.





Wouldn't it be cool if there was a Pez Outlaw For President pin like this of above pic.



I'm crowd funding votes for Pez Outlaw for president



I'm attempting to crowd fund your write in vote for Pez Outlaw for president as publicity to get a book published.





It's for the children

PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT
It's for the children, puppies n kittens.








WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT in 2020
I'm a Strong believer in nepotism, I Will fill as many positions as possible with family members.
  

the caliber of my appointees..



If elected President I only think it's fair to give you an idea of the caliber of my appointees..
 








Thank You, Thank You Very Much


WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8, 2020
Campaign song, Hay, Hay, Poo, Poo............


Every Dead person that can should get out n Vote Pez Outlaw for President





WRITE IN VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT

Presidential Qualifications
I shovel Horse Shit for a living.



Every Presidential election year a lot of Americans decide to not vote for any of the candidates for President on the ballot. These voters instead choose to write in a name of there own for President as a gesture of defiance concerning what is on offer. These write in votes are a right in our election process but unfortunately count very little in the end. My hope is that if you are going to write in a candidate for President that you make your protest in the name Pez Outlaw. If I can get enough people who write in a candidate for president to write in Pez Outlaw a secondary good will come from your act of protest. Your vote might also have the secondary effect of getting me a book deal. 

Your write in vote will gain you nothing, so why not let it do some good for somebody else. ME! To address a concern you might have as to how good a writer I actually am. For this book I'm trying to get published with the help of you writing in Pez Outlaw for President. I'm already under contract with the ghost writer Jeff Maysh who wrote the April 2015 Playboy story The Pez Outlaw see-  http://www.playboy.com/articles/pez-outlaw   which won 2 writing awards. see- Pez Outlaw Wins 2 Awards #pezoutlaw #hollywood    

So I'm asking you to Vote Pez Outlaw as a write in for President. You know that you are going to do it anyway, all I'm asking is that you let that act of protest have a secondary good by making your write in vote for president be Pez Outlaw.

I love this straight jacket pic.



Because there are so many voices/personalities in my head, my campaign is fully staffed.
Pez Outlaw for President.   









I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time


I plan to campaign sorta hard when I have time #pezoutlaw #hollywood: VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8, 2020



I want to recycle your write in protest vote for president into something new, a Pez Outlaw Book. Vote Pez Outlaw for President.



My philosophy on life is this. You never give up, never give in n never quit trying. Try everything no matter how foolish others might think you are for attempting it. That you do is what separates you from those who only wish for things. I have now spent almost 2 decades on this 1 project, that's the dedication to a dreams fulfillment that it takes.




I have zero money, but even that to me is no excuse. As always the trick is to find the loophole n exploit it. I have my story so for me this time that loophole is the great equalizer of the internet. With the internet I can without money pursue my dream of a Pez Outlaw book. If you write in Pez Outlaw for president this year, my dream of a book could come true.

At first glance I accept how crazy this idea seems, but if people who write in a vote for president choose Pez Outlaw, it will work.
That old thing, it's so crazy, it might just work.
VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT

Pez Outlaw For President, Recent campaign rally.

Donald trump might get 10,000 to 15,000 people at a rally, but look how many people we got in a phone booth.

Yes we held a campaign rally in a phone booth, it was the only place we could get, but we packed em in. 




Cabinet Meeting of my administration

I promise as President to do absolutely nothing except take pointless trips on Airforce 1 n play Golf.



From the big brain room






VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT has 3,200 views so far.  
Pretty good for one of my posts. 
My #1 post is VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8 #pezoutlaw.
In my reality, only my numbers are relevant.





It's official.
VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8 is now the highest viewed post on Notes From The Asylum.
Yes, I Hammered it to get there.


I'm shamelessly seeking validation n approval, hence the following.

Google+ Followers, please give VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT post a G+1 positive feedback.


Within insanity, find good
Out of chaos, find purpose
Solutions are found in the most unlikely of places
To find answers, you must have eyes that can see
Faith n belief in yourself, will carry you  

This crazy pretend world I've created is where I find refuge from the harsh n painful realities of life. My dreams are what sustain me. All my crazy schemes give me hope.

Now, On With The Show

I'm campaigning for the Mickey Mouse, Evan McMullin, Gary Johnson n Jill Stein Vote. 

VOTE, PEZ OUTLAW FOR PRESIDENT on Nov. 8
Why Not, could I possibly be worse?


America has a long n proud history of crazy people running for President.
My turn.

"As President, I Pez Outlaw couldn't possibly do worse."
Pez Outlaw for President yard sign.
Pez Outlaw for President, Better than Mickey Mouse. 

It's a race to the bottom for President, Vote Pez Outlaw for President because I'm it.
So if you're looking for the bottom of the barrel for President, look no further, Pez Outlaw. 
In a year of bad choices for President, Why not make the worst choice, Pez Outlaw.


Are you better off than you were 8yrs ago?
Things could be worse, Vote Pez Outlaw for President. 

A Vote for Pez Outlaw is a vote for ummmmmm yup change.

If elected I promise a 1957 Ford Truck in every garage.
You'll thank me later, after the pulse.

Pez Outlaw for President Campaign slogan.
My best friend has a favorite stick.
Though her favorite stick changes every few days, they wear out.

I  know a lot of folks are terribly conflicted this year n are gonna write in a crazy name in protest.
I'm here to ask for that vote.
Write in any other name is just a shameful waste. 
Make your write in vote PEZ OUTLAW for president because I might get a book deal out of it.
From my perspective that vote then would not have been wasted. 

Think of your write in vote of PEZ OUTLAW for president as crowd funding a book deal for me.

Every Presidential election year a significant number of people vote for Mickey Mouse.
I'm asking for the Mickey Mouse vote.
Let's make it Pez Outlaw this time.

I know a lot of people are ashamed to say who they are voting for right now.
Say PEZ OUTLAW for President with pride. 

If mistakenly elected President, I promise to only serve 90 days, just long enough to get a great retirement package.

As President I promise that all my speeches will be pointless rambling about nothing n made up stuff.
As president many of my speeches would simply be "Dude" then, he gone.

As President I would rent out every room in the White House like a bed n breakfast to raise money to pay down the National debt. 

As President I would turn the White House front lawn into a horse pasture for the Old Man n his Buds. 


As President all motorcades would include me on my tractor moving at a snails pace. 

As President besides doing nothing, I promise to also stand for nothing. 

I promise as President it would be like I wasn't even there. 


But Wait There's More, Act now n..........


Here's the book Pez Outlaw Diary 
It's FREE online to read, right now.




After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Him n Me - Pez Today #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA


Saddle Up n Put on Your Rain Poncho's boys n girls.
I'll show you how it should be.
You only think you've seen crazy?
The best is yet to come.

Pez Today Lacks Vision
It needs a Wham Bam Thank You Mam Crazy Person to add some creative mythology.
In short, more story, more depth n more of a creative input, more performance art as narration.

I say this for many reasons.
Starting with, 
How long can Pez Corporation live off my old ideas, "crystals, glow in the dark n color variations".
How much money would I have if I'd received just 1 penny for every Bubble man, Crystal, glow in the dark or color variation dispenser Pez corp has sold since 1998.
My guess, well over $100,000.00.

The above is my resumes for the job of kick starting another revival of Pez like I did before.
Pez Outlaw, Can you still bring the crazy that's needed?
Does a bear poo in the woods?
Sheldon that means YES! 

This time though you'd get more of a Howard Hughes Pez Outlaw than the sj glew Pez Outlaw of old.
Would that be a good thing?
Yes, a mysterious reclusive Pez Outlaw adds Myth, much written by necessity of the absence of data.
Also, if The New Pez Outlaw is a recluse, doesn't that make the few sightings of him more of an event worthy of attending.

Yes I write about Pez Outlaw in the 3rd person.
2 reasons.
1. I view Pez Outlaw as a character that embodies that part of my life.
2. If I can separate myself from him n I can (diagnosed schizophrenic in 1969) then I can as an outsider manage n promote him/Pez Outlaw.

To tell you the truth, Pez Outlaw n I are 2 very different people that bleed over into each other.
Me, I'm a recluse, not an extrovert characteristic in my body.
Pez Outlaw is larger than life itself n I really like him.
I can pour all the things I wouldn't n couldn't do into him.
Pez Outlaw is like a surrogate (Bruce Willis movie) I can step into to enter your world.

This though does create quite a few schisms between Pez Outlaw n myself.
Pez Outlaw believes all things I write about are possible n likely.
Me, not so much because I'm the skeptic.
Pez Outlaw thinks there will be a movie or that Pez Corp would of course make the Pez Outlaw collection.
On the other hand I myself believe both have a snowballs chance in hell.
Truth is that I let him run with those fantasies because it makes him happy n what harm is there in letting him believe.
Kinda like, Why would you tell a 5yr old that there's no Santa Claus.
It makes him happy.

I'm not sure that I should've revealed those truths, might adversely affect dk, jeff n Pez Corp.
Is it a good idea to let dk, jeff n pez corp know that you view them as a waste of time that you indulge to pacify one of the personalities in your head.
At that I'm leaving out Biff Rose n Thorn-apple Trees.
Screw it, you deserve the truth, just this once.
So you've got perspective for the future. 

This one addendum to the above.
I may not believe in those mentioned but I do believe in Pez Outlaw.
I'm not the problem as repeatedly told (yeah that really stuck in my craw), 
I'm the solution.
Ammmmmm..... I mean He Is. Pez Outlaw, you know not me?


I didn't say all that, He Did.
the guy in the pic. so blame him not me.
************

On the collector side it also lacks vision.
I  recently offered 2,500 banks at .75cents per.
Cheap right! But it seems the ability to see how you could sell or use that many is gone.
I used to buy up to 10,000 per type of a dispenser knowing I could sell them all.
The vision is so much smaller now.


Fantasy Pez
They scare the hell out of me as to the future of Pez Collecting.
Best example a guy showing a Kooky Zoo Elephant clear blueish he created talking about his discovery of pressure method or something.
When the line between real n fantasy blurs this much, it is not a good thing.

Known Universe is becoming to large to wrap your mind around.
Say 1,000 known dispensers in approx 1994.
Today triple that n Pez Corp is going crazy creating everything they can license or imagine.
There needs to be a new demarcation point, similar to no feet to footed.
This is way over due.

Travel.
This morning I'm listening to Serious XM The Highway n the dj is talking about a singer traveling in Europe.
For the first time in a decade n a half I thought, Yeah I could do that again.
You have to wonder how Pez Corp would feel about a resurgence of Pez Outlaw in there lives.

With all I've written, here's something still untold.
I've never written or told anyone who my real contacts were.
I've protected these sources for over 2 decades n never will reveal them.
Yes I've mentioned some, but only the unimportant ones.
No matter how rough things have gotten, even when offered money, I've declined.
You can't buy or sell relationships.

Pez Outlaw Diary Book publishing rights 4sale by owner 75k


My impression from ebay is that Pez is in a slump.
David has MMM's I sold 20yrs ago for $25 to $35 at $26.00.
Generally I just don't see enthusiasm.

Makes me think Pez needs a good kick in the pants.
Would a big Pez Outlaw thingy be just the medicine?
A nationwide whamp of excitement n spotlight.

By now you all know me better from my writing in Notes From The Asylum.
I really don't like the spotlight, I prefer my quiet life.
If this thing happens I will make it about Pez Outlaw n Pez not me.

My hope is that all of you will use this opportunity for yourselves n the hobby of collecting Pez.
I have absolutely no problem with stepping back n letting you all have some fun with it.
Like Chancy Gardener said, "I like to watch".

Once this happens I believe it would be better served by a thousand points of light than one.
I won't need to tell you when to begin, it will be obvious.
Step forward n use it with my blessing, the more you do, the less I will have to. 

Lately I've become a fan of the pre2016 British Top Gear, because those guys were seriously nuts. (I don't care who hit who, FUNNY IS FUNNY! quit being so PC n fix it. comedy is supposed to be irreverent n anarchistic.) more (I'm not saying Matt Lablanc n that other guys 2016 show is awful, It's just not the Top Gear I like with Captain Slow, The Hamster n the Big Ape.)
The point is the crazy stuff Jeremy says in his intros to The Stig.
Make up all kinds of outlandish stories n recollections of Pez Outlaw.

The crazier the better.
Who am I to say it's not true. 
Pez Outlaw needs to become as much myth as Legend.
1st known photo of Pez Outlaw - 1957

Examples:
Pez Outlaw once walked the entire length of the Great Wall of China backwards because he thought he was being followed.
Pez Outlaw was offered the Presidency of Pez Corporation but couldn't afford the pay cut. 
Certain facts in the History of Pez Outlaw are true, but that doesn't mean everything needs to be.

Pez Outlaw came to being because of Pez n the Hobby of Collecting Pez.
In that sense Pez Outlaw n his story belongs to you also.
So have fun with it, "It's always better to ask forgiveness than Permission".

I mentioned how major dealers are selling pez at or below what I sold for 20 yrs ago.
To illustrate.

Pez I bought under questionable providence, I paid $1.25 each. 
Add to that the following costs;
Ticket to Europe n back approx $800 to $900.00
Car approx $500. to $800.00
Hotel $300 to $500.00
Extra luggage fee approx $300.00
Food etc $300.00

Point being any pez I brought into the USA from Europe had a base cost of approx $2.00 ea.
I'm just saying that I do not understand the low prices I'm seeing on ebay.

If? IF!
We'll see what we can do about that.
One last ride by Pez Outlaw.

If it happens Saddle Up n Put on Your Rain Poncho's boys n girls.
I'll show you how it should be.

Ask the folks who were at the conventions we attended.
They'll tell you what good times look like. 

True or False

Josh n I once ran around a Pez Convention in Gorilla Costumes. True.

I once turned over half a refrigerator box of Pez in the middle of the floor of a Pez Convention as a free mad scramble give away. True. actually twice, Cleveland n LA.

Pez Outlaw once drove his rental car through a mall area in downtown Vienna. True.

Pez Outlaw was held at gun point by Police/Military. True, this happened at least 2 to 3 times.

Anyway that's it for today.
Time to go be EB, putting final touches on tin horse shed today.
Yippie it's done, now on to the circle drive.

I thought this post was fun, hope you did to. 
1200 views in 48hrs. thank you so much for your support. 

Psycho Lucy

Psycho Lucy is probably one of the most underrated Pez dispensers ever made in a very short run. approx 300 were made, current value is $100 to $150.00

Psycho Lucy, one of Pez Outlaw's children.
Psycho Lucy was the first in a long line of Pez Outlaw Pez dispensers. Thank god this one was not duplicated by Pez USA.

Psycho Lucy is one of my fondest memories.  Black Santa n Psycho Lucy were the 2 best things to come out of my Pez years.

Psycho Lucy Pez dispenser. White paint on face instead of black. I asked Marco if he could make a Lucy Pez dispenser with white eyes. Somehow in translation this came out a White face Lucy Pez dispenser. So he created normal Lucy Pez dispenser but all face detailing done with white paint. This Pez dispenser was thought of because of the Lucy with White eyes. Marco created about 300 of this Pez dispensers for me. 

I named her Psycho Lucy because my first reaction when he showed this Pez dispenser to me was. She looks Psycho.

Most of what I did as Pez Outlaw was equal parts luck n perseverance. 
The key though is that you have to show up or luck just passes you by.
What a wonderful accident she was.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Monday, September 11, 2017

round here it's Redneck Country #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA


Got an outhouse, check. use it all the time. House came on wheels, you know but we took them off.
I can't help seeing anybody that wasn't born yet when I was 21 as a kid.

I think dirt is fun
My tractor is my off road vehicle.
I love building/contouring my property with horse manure.

I make things just to get by that city folks say I should patent. 
wasn't the point.
I love creating to solve a problem, I hate production beyond need.

I no longer desire to be rich.
I just need enough to take care of a few things.
Then I wanna live my life out in obscurity. 
Money just causes chaos, I haven't carried money in 15yrs, zero. 
Somebody ever robs me, hope he brought some money cause that's the only way he leaves with anything.

I bought 7 used tire chains for $100. Two store bought chains run $200 to $500.
Gave the front paws of my tractor some bite. 
tickles me to the bone every time my girl climbs an icy hill or grips her way through 12 inches of mud.

sick don't get the chores done

duct tape on fingers of my gloves. actually works n makes them better.
If only I could use duct tape to cure Hay Knee.
Don't think I'm not gonna give it a try.
Unlike city folk who buy holey jeans, Hay knee means my legs get cut up.
I hate throwing away good jeans just because the Hay Knee gets to bad.  

I know Duct tape is considered Redneck, but Zip Ties are the new Duct Tape.

you call plummer for backed up sewer, I am the guy covered in poo fixin it.
You got a guy, I am our guy. Well me n ole Josh.

we recycle, yup. it's called making do, reuse, find another purpose for it.

I love Hamburger Helper n The Velveeta Cheesy Skillets versions especially.

Velveeta Cheesy Skillets Chicken Bacon Ranch is the best especially if you replace the chicken w/beef.
big night out is crazy bread from Hungry Howie's

Cowboy Copas, Lefty Frizzel, Ernest Tubs, those were cool country names.

my store bought teeth set in a jar. I just don't see the point.
Who'm I tryin to impress?

Just like my old dogs Boomie, Soupy n Rudy, I keep score. 
If you cross the line, you stay there forever with me. 
People tell me through words or actions who they really are, whether they realize it or not.
Not hate, just disregard. You leave my world. Active Hate takes to much energy.
Boomie, Soupy n Rudy grudged.
If you got on there shit list, you stayed there for life.
god I miss those dogs.

Sometimes I think I miss good dogs that are gone more than people. 
There I go tryin to be correct for ya. Of course I miss my old dogs more than people.

In my youth I ran from my roots n who I really was.
From my teens to about age 50 I adopted city ways.
Problem was country kept slipping out around the edges.
I'd be doin a Pez show n get looks from a friend thinking I was being a little hoaky/country. 
In recent years I've dropped all the city n embraced my country roots.
I'm happier than I've ever been. 

There is absolutely no point in hiding from who you are.
I prefer to hang a lantern on my true self.
If folks don't like the real you, there really isn't much point in them, is there.
Being kinda a Hermit helps though.
I really don't need people.

My people come from Farwell Michigan.
My grandfather was the town drunk.
I'm an alcoholic, sober 45 years. 
I no longer run from who I am or where I come from, I embrace it. 

Definitely NOT, Politically Correct

The dependable thing about stupidity is how it loves to repeat itself.
A decade or 2 ago society decided that males should be feminized.
Next thing you know women were fed up n wanting real men for husbands. 

I don't understand why this phenomenon keeps repeating itself. 
Every decade or 2 society decides to destroy the masculinity of a generation of males.
Then oops sorry about that, that's not what we wanted after all. 

What I'm saying here is "Definitely NOT, Politically Correct". 
I apologize for being a traditional male.
Thing is I can't change n don't desire to.

What brings this all up?
I'm gonna blame Brit Hume, FOX's Greta replacement for this post.
Link to Brit Hume segment https://twitter.com/FoxNewsInsider/status/783099343163133952
Sure yank the old guy outa retirement when somebody quits, Don't get me started. 

Anyway Brit Hume has a segment called Campus Crazy.
Yesterday had a piece about 2 Colleges that are reprogramming young males as to how horrid they are.
I'm just sayin to young ladies out there, you think you want this but in 10 years or so you're gonna regret this decision.

Yes, young males are walking hard ons, but they settle down by about age 29.
If you feminize them, they lose there identities.
Take a hard look at women in there 30s n 40s, they like country boys.

Young Liberals love to treat country boys like cavemen until they realize they want a man who knows who he is.
Just seems a woman wants a man who ????? until somethin needs fixin.
Also in dangerous or scary situations all that feminist shit goes away n a man that steps up is desired.

Hate if you want, enjoy n have a good time.
Me, I just do not care, I know who I am.
N yes Kathy just rolled her eyes.

Like I've said over n over.
I'm a Redneck n proud of it.
Leave those young men alone, please don't mess up another generation. 

You hate us until you need us n you always end up needing us.
That dirty nasty awful job that nobody wants to do, Yeah We're The Guys Doing It. 
I literally have been covered in poo, I was the only guy standin there when it needed doin.

Signed, Harmless 65yr old man.
We just say stuff, nobody listens so why not.
 

Unrelated, New Topic.
this is about twitter

Like everybody else my goal is more eyeballs/followers on twitter.
But for fun.
I never will understand all the 20something young women that don't take one look at my twitter image n run away screaming.

Right.

lately I've been getting 5 to 8 twitter followers per day.
All but 2 each day are young women?????

< again pic. ?????

Mind you I'm not complaining. I actually like who I am.
N I need the follows.


You just wouldn't think, but hey, me I'm grateful.
The whole point to my daily endeavors is to go out into the internet like a spider web. So thank you, I don't have to understand why, do I.

Some guys hang out with there bud's for there me time or there world.
I go inside my head n create for me time. 

This post has achieved 600 views in under 24hrs for an A+. 

You know a good one when you write it, you can feel it hitting the points.
Yesterday n the day befores posts only got a C+ each.
My Beard Took A Left #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezout... was an A+.  
Yes I grade my posts. I've deleted almost 100 posts that were Fails, because if I want people to come here n read, better have standards. 

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary



Sunday, September 10, 2017

Guilt Trip, $19.95. #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Send me $19.95 n relieve your guilt.

What's the magic number, $19.95.
How do you compare happiness n peace of mind to such a small amount of money?
Send me $19.95 n I guarantee you I'll be happier.
Studies show you can afford it.
Otherwise why would pretty much everyone asking us for money pick that exact amount?

Somebody needs to tell you.

Have you noticed how rich folk are asking us for $19.95 a month, the new ok amount of money to ask poor folk for.

Who was it exactly that decided poor folk would pull the lever on $19.95 per month.

2 problems here.
It's rich folk who have guilt about how much they have n are trying to buy peace of mind.

Second. Poor folk do not really have $19.95 to spare each month. To us that's a payment.

Crazy thing is I can think of 3 different commercials where rich spokespersons are asking for $19.95 per month off the top of my head. All good causes. Problem is we do not have $19.95 per month to spare. YOU DO.

Also Celebrities.
Stop encouraging old people to reverse mortgage there homes. Not Cool.

Both of these things really piss me off.

My advice.
Celebrities, stop trying to increase your wealth off the backs of poor n elderly people.
You got issues about your wealth, give your money away. Stop guilting us.
We need what little we have just to keep from calling our cars our homes.
$19.95 per month is real money to us.

That wasn't me. spell check made guilting which no doubt isn't even a word. quilting.

So that's me just making friends left n right. Hey what can I say, I'm just a really friendly guy. Kisses.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary