Wednesday, December 23, 2015

But Wait, There's More. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw


Have you ever seen the guy on TV who for whatever reason his job has him around women in Bikini's. The guy looks at the camera n says, "I love my Job".
That's me out driving around on my tractor in 6 inches of mud, I love my job. 

I can be outside doing chores getting a bit tired, get on the tractor n start moving poo n my energy returns.
Like I've told you. I used to be a Jeep man, now I'm a tractor man.

Once a week doing chores with Billy Dog n Po an idea will start taking form in my head.
Problem is that there is no freedom until I can get back in here and write it down. Only then can my mind move on.
So we go from yesterday where my brain was fried n I sucked to this. WELCOME!

I know you've heard the phase less is more. Well so have I, actually I've had it said to me in one form or another so often that I thought maybe it was coined for use in my presence.

Kathy is always giving me the nod, hand signals or flat out OK moving on.

That's why when Jeff Maysh said are you ready for what's about to happen it kinda took me by surprise. The idea that folks might go crazy about me n actually want to talk to me or wonder what I think?

You see for a long time now in public I'm that homeless person on the curb with the coffee cup.
People avoid eye contact in a hope that if they don't look at me I won't try to talk to them.
Seriously all I need is the sign "Will Work For Food" and a busy intersection.
I'm that guy. What I'm not is the guy anybody willingly wants to talk to.

So Jeff Maysh, Am I ready for people to be swarming me wanting to talk to me n take my picture.
The real question is Jeff, Are they ready to talk to Me?
Oh by the way "Pictures Are Forbidden". I'm kinda one of those folks that thinks if you take a picture of me, you steal a piece of my soul.
People try taking pictures but my hand goes up like a perp walk.
Some guy who came here wanted to take a picture of me on my tractor. He said, Why not it's just a picture. He got my back and a FIRM NO!

But you know othern that, whatever if you think that's actually what you really want.
It would be different to talk to people who are under the missread that they really want to hear it.
Topsy Tervy World. Cats marrying Dogs, The apocalypse is here.

My large bolt cutters arrived today.
The postal lady n I were laughing at how they'd only be good for robbing small banks. 
Stop it, that was a joke.
My new bolt cutters are for cutting snow chains to the size I need on my tractors rear tires. 

Unwrapped Bolt cutters n they are awesome, just like the ones SWAT Teams use on TV.
They were only $50.00 but saw that they were on Sears for 79.95 regularly $150.00.
Too Cool. 

 

Pez Outlaw Diary

Cranky Old Bastard ALERT! #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

What do you think, should old men have "Cranky Old Bastard ALERT!" warning labels?


Dogs n Horses Yes but No Children Allowed.
I don't know why I should have to keep saying this, but apparently I do.

I will not follow anyone on twitter whose page image is a picture of a child.
To me it goes beyond not being in good taste.
I'm a 64 year old man. If the image on your twitter page does not at least look 20, I can not follow you back.

If your homepage image is of a horse or a dog, no problem.
If your home page image is of a child, No.

I also can not follow back any page on facebook or twitter that's in Arabic.
I  have no idea what's being said and I just can not take the chance.

Oh yeah n no porn or excessive cursing. 
Yes I screen each persons page that follows me.

I also shy away from advert pages. Like buy follower pages.
Only real people please.  No Twitter Follower Farms.

Oh yeah there's one other type of page I do not follow back because it's a waste of time.
When I screen your page one of the first things I check is the ratio of follows to followers.
If you follow say 50 people but have 2,000 followers, I will not waste my time with a follow back.
You are just going to remove your follow after the follow back is given.

Other than that though I try to follow back any real people that follow me on twitter or facebook,
After I screen your page.

I will also admit to being confused by the huge number of twenty-something young women that follow me on twitter. 
My home page image:

If you're a twenty-something woman, why on earth would you follow that?

Somebody is cranky this morning?
Is there such a thing as cranky tweeting?

Pez Outlaw Diary

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Domo Arigato Mr Roboto #pezoutlaw #hollywood


Robot Unrest
The time has come at last
To throw away this mask
Now everyone can see
My true identity.

Styx


Yesterday I spent the afternoon on the tenuously high end of reality.
I don't know about your world, but this happens occasionally in mine.
Times when you grip with all your might to hang on, because things are a bit jittery.

I'm not complaining because so far I've always won.
Though because of this I take it very personal when my reality is questioned. 
I take it especially personal when an artificial intelligence questions my existence.

"What's the frequency, Kenneth?" is your Benzedrine, uh-huh / I was brain-dead, locked out, numb, not up to speed / I thought I'd pegged you an idiot's dream. R.E.M.


Am I a self aware robot that nobody bothered to inform of his status?
Like it's not hard enough hanging on to reality.
Having a machine question your existence hardly helps.

I fear the day has come n gone, machines have taken over.
Now my existence is questioned by a machine.
Why must I keep proving to twitter that I'm a real person n not a robot? 

Would a robot use poor grammar n misspell this many words?
Of course he would,
to trick you......
What? Wait.


OK. If I were a robot, could I do this?
Oh, right not a video. 
Trust me, it was indisputable proof of life.

Thank God for Slovakia, almost 1,000 views of Notes From The Asylum in 24hrs.
At least Slovakia believes I'm real n not a robot.

My twitter account was just locked again.
If you are not allowed to vigorously promote your work on twitter, what exactly is the point of twitter.

It would appear that my dedicated efforts to promote Notes From The Asylum n Pez Outlaw Diary are verboten on twitter. 
Very puzzling, because if promoting my projects is not allowed on twitter, then quite honestly twitter is of no use or purpose to me.

I look at all the stupidity on twitter like porn, the grotesque, scams, radicals etc n promoting my work is where they draw the line? 

So now I'm expected to go through twitters procedures of gettin my hand slapped to get back on twitter.
Why, so they can lock my account again if I try to promote Pez Outlaw Diary again.

What's the point? 

Truth. 
My activities make twitter think that I'm a robot because of the huge number of posts n how rapidly I put them up.
I know it's sick, but I take that as a compliment.
Kathy says I might wanna reconsider my actions.
BIG, Laugh. 

HEY! Maybe I am a Robot.
Domo Arigato.
Wikipedia - a Japanese phrase meaning "Thanks a lot" or "Thank you very much".

Bumberdumpkin. In my head, had to take it out.

DEAD ROBOT.
Dead Robot
Between 2 Ferns

between fern n vern - heard he might play me in the movie.
You know, like if you have a friend whose really into something n next thing you know so are you.
Puddy (dog) is so into squirrels that now so are Pinky n Bill (dogs).

Flip The Script

Pez Outlaw $4.5 Million Dollar Man

It just occurred to me that I actually spent $4.5 Million creating the Pez Outlaw story.
Stated differently, The Pez Outlaw story cost me 4.5 million dollars.
Yes I lost the $4.5 million because of Fraud due to Breach of Implied Contract by Pez Corporation.
Bottom Line though on a personal level My Pez Outlaw adventures had a price tag of $4.5 Million.

Kinda a sobering thought.
Pez Outlaw, the 4.5 Million Dollar Man.
Does that make Pez Outlaw the Walmart of Million Dollar Men?
Kathy barely laughed, must be it's funnier in my head.
 

twitter censorship?

This post was written in-between naps.
Hey, I'm old, I take a lot of naps.

Notes From the Asylum is 16oz's of crazy in a 12oz bag. 
A real bargain at $4.95 plus shipping n handling.
But wait, If you buy now I will double your order at no extra charge.
All you pay is a modest additional shipping fee.
You will be getting a 30 day supply of crazy.

So lean back n Turn your GPS ON.

The other day I posted 2 items on twitter n within minutes my twitter account was locked.
Granted, I was able to get it unlocked after a small amount of hassle.
My first reaction was to take a time out n think about what had just happened.
Then I realized what's the difference.
Posting n getting locked again or self imposed exile, both have the same end result.
Go down swinging.

If twitter has indeed become, "THE MAN!"
I choose insurrection. 
Talking to myself.
Of course you do, you Idjet. 

Tin Foil Hat Enthusiast. 

I've never met a conspiracy theory that I didn't find at least interesting or humorous.

I thought both items were just funny.

One was 
I like the show Ancient Aliens.
Do I really need to explain more?

The second item was the following cartoon.













Forgive my sense of humor, I thought that this cartoon was funny.

Look, Chevy Chase made a career on Saturday night live because Gerald Ford tripped n stumbled a few times.
We all thought Chevy Chase was funny when he tripped n stumbled every week on Saturday Night Live.
Me, I thought funny was funny, period.

While we're on the subject Saturday Night Live.
Is comedy party affiliated SNL?
Every since Gerald Ford SNL has had a resident comedian to be the candidate or president.
SNL, you thought Sarah Palin was hilarious.
Well this comedy bit writes itself.

Group of secret service agents hovered around a table of diagrams n charts.
The reveal is that they are betting on where n when Hillary goes down next.


2nd bit.
You know how the secret service agents formed like a protective wall when Hillary went down to block it n from cameras.
You have one agent shout, shit she's going down again.
Then you have them form a line in front of her n shuffle sideways like a chorus line.
Left Left Left, nope Right Right Right, then left again.
Depending on how long the bit would hold up, you keep doing it.
Comedy is Comedy last time I checked.
SNL feel free, my gift to you.

So here we are.
I'm Still trying to decide what to make of it.
I still have higher hopes for twitter than facebook.
twitter is the Wild West, facebook is kinda civilized. 
Ever get the feeling that you ping pong from 1 indignation to another?


In case you missed it.
This post is a conspiracy theory.
My tin foil hat has a cherished position on my shelf next to every episode of Ancient Aliens.

Just for giggles. here's a message I received from God knows who on twitter.

Hi! I'm a book editor and charge $1 per page. I have a sale on editing that ends this next Wednesday at $.75 a page. Email me if you need editing or PA assistance! I offer a free month of PA help with an editing job!

With a guy like me who writes an endless stream of bullshit Jeff would get rich. That is, if I had any money?

Waste Not, Want Not Jeff. 
personal note - Jeff I know at times it must feel like harassment, but you're the only person I have to talk to. have should'a been will


Ta!
Looking to the skies for salvation.

A previous post.

It's taken me 5yrs to get 2,000 followers on twitter.
Then BAM, in the next 72hrs it doubled to 4,000 followers.
Yes at the moment I'm projecting where the count will be tomorrow morning.

In the last 72 hours I've gotten 2,000 new followers on twitter.
I gotta tell you, careful what you wish for.
At the moment barely able to keep up with it.

That's the good news.
On the other hand I feel I owe all my twitter followers an explanation.

For 10+ years I wrote Pez Outlaw Diary.
3 years ago a movie producer contacted me.
I blew him off thinking it was a scam.

2 years ago Jeff contacted me n wrote the April 2015 Playboy article called The Pez Outlaw.
At the same time I asked him to contact n vet the movie producer.

1 year ago I sold my life rights to a major motion picture studio.
With the producer mentioned attached.

Over the last year a script has been commissioned n worked on.

A little over a year ago I started work on a new project Notes From The Asylum as a support mechanism for Pez Outlaw Diary.
Notes From The Asylum is intended to flesh out Pez Outlaw n give insight into the person/character.

As we all know in life, nothing is guaranteed, which brings me to the point of todays post.
I use twitter to promote Pez Outlaw, 3 hrs a day I grind out posts to get the name Pez Outlaw out there.

My goal with twitter is to eventually get 250,000 to 1,000,000+ followers who will say, Oh yeah I've heard that name.
Possibly raising a general question on the internet of "Who is Pez Outlaw?"

In order to do this I need and am doing everything possible to get followers on twitter.
Not fake followers but real eyeballs.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary



 





Friday, December 11, 2015

Box Of Puppies #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Views from the Asylum are at times not a box of puppies.
Have you ever felt like your sitting in a ditch trying to splice wires back together.
Darkness closing fast, time running out.
You get there but it's a patch job n you know it.
Welcome to the Asylum.

Every month when the moon is full my old friend depression comes to visit for a few days. It may be coincidence but I really don't think so anymore.

I finally started noticing the relationship about a decade ago. It would appear that when the moon is full n at it's strongest, that it just yanks on my brain. Yanks on your brain is a medical term.

So don't expect to find me in the cheering section over the coolness of 2 full moons in one month. The second full moon in one month being the definition of Blue Moon.

The good news, if there is any in depression. When I was younger this monthly depression could last a week. Now one day into it, the day of n one day coming out.

I will take this small gain. BTW, I feel better today.
So to all you suicide jockeys. It gets better, a good day is coming.
But a fan of Full moons or Blue Moons. No.

malaise or maturity

The rate that I'm losing interest in different things is starting to cause me to be concerned.

I seem to be downgrading things that I once thought very important or that excited me.

I also seem to be better at holding down my temper n keeping my mouth shut when annoyed.

I'm not sure if it's malaise or maturity.

My mind also seems to function better. Less people running into the room yelling fire.

Pez Outlaw Diary




Sunday, December 6, 2015

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub #pezoutlaw #hollywood

 Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.
I think somebody has hacked my computer, because it won't turn off n is on when I come in in the morning.
Know what, Who Cares.
Maybe they will have better luck with my life. 

When reality sucks, I go elsewhere.
Not a clue what I'm doing, but why should that stop me.
Most things I do require a leap of faith.

Starting to feel like I'm allowed to speak as long as I remain Obscure. #youknow

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Think of the above phrase like magic words, spoken before something amazing happens.
Not so amazingly.

Before you get all shirty on me, I am a redneck, so you know, I can say that. 
I've earned my redneck stripes over the last 15 years n a lifetime of making do.
Remember me, I'm the guy that makes stuff outa Barrels.
see- Redneckology, The Barrel Book
Oh yeah n I'm also that Pez Outlaw guy
see- Pez Outlaw Diary

You're probably not gonna believe it, but this post title is a direct result of somebody buying 60 Ducky covers.
Go figure. 

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Yesterday I heard that Duck Dynasty was ending after this season.
I went on twitter to get more info.
That was my first mistake, the amount of vitriol against Duck Dynasty was amazing.
The hatred was palpable, I just don't understand it.

Duck Dynasty as represented by the Robertson family could only be described as decent nice people.
The hatred displayed by folks on twitter was very surprising. 
Don't they finally understand that middle America is fed up with being dismissed n vilified as racist etc.
The litany of angry words used to dismiss, discount n invalidate what by the results of the recent election is mind boggling.
This country is not just the East n West coast, the sooner people realize it, the better off we will all be.
 
 
Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Most peculiar, Most peculiar.
Last year I wrote a post called Buck Up Buttercup #pezoutlaw 
Today I hear that a Suck it up Buttercup Bill has been written by an Iowa Lawmaker in the state legislature. 
Coincidence, I don't think so.

I think this bill is in direct result of my recent campaign for President.


Even though my presidential bid was unsuccessful, I think that we set the agenda for the country.
Boilerplate, rhetoric, Blah, Blah, Blah.

I have to be careful with what I say, my twitter account has already been suspended twice.
With recent news that twitter is suspending people for political reasons, I don't want to be caught in the dragnet.

By the way, What is the Alt Right n the Alt Left?
Never heard these phases till this year.
Are they poll tested slurs?

Seems like none of us know who or what we are until we are labeled with a slur by somebody else.

I will not be posting previous 2 paragraphs on twitter, because of you know, Right..

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

I was looking on ebay yesterday n somebody was selling freshly washed used granny panties.
Ok so not the Japanese thing, which we will not talk about, but just did.

Selling used underwear.
I always thought there was an unwritten rule about selling used items n underwear were like paper towels.
Once you use underwear they are dead to anyone else.

My new chore coat 




which I love is used, but underwear, no way am I gonna wear somebody elses.
Secret, I actually don't wear the damn things, haven't for 46 years.
Underwear seem kinda pointless to me.

Seriously dude. TMI, TMI!
You really don't have to share everything.

Excellent example of opposing voices in my head.





Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Walk away from that one Bubba, OK watch me.

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT.
The following was an independent post that did not achieve the minimum required views.

 
Pez Outlaw The Book #pezoutlaw #hollywood


America is ready for a story of the struggle of an individual.
Someone who fights back from the ashes of his dreams.


To me the book would be 1/3 the decade of travel buying n selling Pez / the success. 
Then the middle 1/3 the struggle of the fighting my way back. the phone calls of bill collectors. Selling everything of value, including Kathy's wedding ring to pay bills. 
Coming ever so close to losing our home. 
Then the years of  Writing Pez Outlaw diary n promoting it.


The final 1/3 of the story would be the day jeff contacted me. 
The behind the scenes journey we've been on n then finally the movie within the movie. 
We show me watching them making the movie that people are at that moment watching.

The cry against oppression. 
Pez Outlaws story shows that on a personal level. 
Middle America would love to read n watch a story about someone fighting back. 
Alone, nobody except himself believing that he can do it. 
It's a story of hope, perseverance n belief in ones self.

Who knows how good any of this is.

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.

Yeah right Billy Dog would just watch a Fox in her yard.

Just STUPID!
When will people learn.
Wild animals are Wild Animals.
Everything is cute until it's not.
Eventually a Wild Animal slips up n trained means nothing.

Just ask those guys that had the Big Cats in Las Vegas.

Roy Horn Tiger Attack - YouTube

Tiger That Mauled Siegfried & Roy Magician Dies at 17
Human stupidity always ends badly for the animal.

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.
Brother Can You Spare Me Some Time? #pezoutlaw #hollywood 

When did I become Uncle Dewey?
Nuf said.

Bubba Dub Dub, 3 Rednecks in a tub.
Slovakia, Pez Outlaw World Premiere, Why Not?
It's not like Notes From The Asylum is reality based.


If there was a Pez Outlaw Movie, would or should there be a big premiere in Slovakia with a personal appearance by Pez Outlaw?

I bring this up because to date approx 1/2 of the views of Notes From The Asylum are from Slovakia. 

You would think that the largest following for Pez Outlaw outside the US would be Hungary since that's where a lot of it took place.

Nope, Slovakia?????
Very puzzling.

Overall Slovakia comes in at approx 1/2 of my views.
A micro view of views say over the last 3 to 6 months is 2x.
About double the views over the last few months have been from Slovakia over US views.

I guess Pez Outlaw is just an obscure country singer whose making it big in Slovakia.
I don't have to understand it, I'm just thankful. 


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.






Pez Outlaw Diary






Friday, December 4, 2015

Proby aka Po #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Today is my 65th Birthday.
I want to thank everyone on facebook for all there kind words n well wishes.

As far as ages go I think 16, 21 n 65 are the big ones.
I had hoped that before my 65th Birthday the folks in Hollywood might have made an announcement.
Well that didn't happen.

Anyway to the topic of this post.
Po
Po
Last night I had a very long dream n Proby was at my side in the whole thing.
I dreamt that I was back in the shop n Po was at my side.
Funny thing is I left the shop over 20 years ago.

I was walking around talking to everybody I used to work with telling them I'd be 65 soon n retiring.
Proby wasn't just at my side, she was stealing the dream.

I need to tell you something about Po.
Proby has been working on her mind control techniques for 5 years now.
Seriously, Po stares at me n wills me to do things.

I think Proby has expanded her mind control techniques to include entering my dreams, because last nights dream featured Proby.
It was like I had second billing in my own dream.
At one point I was on top of a crowd of people, not a clue why.
Proby came to the edge n I grabbed her front feet so she could climb up also.

If this had been Billy she'd have just flew up there, but no it was Probies dream in my head so she climbed.
I don't remember much more, just that Proby was at my side in the whole dream.
I woke up in a pretty good mood.
No small thing because I've been kinda depressed for a few weeks.

I just don't know what to make of it.
Proby like all Bull Mastiffs is a comfort dog, it's what they excel at.
Mastiffs keep you company so you never feel alone n watch your backside so you never need worry.
But I've never had a Mastiff enter my dreams so strongly.
I think old Po is really perfecting her mind control talent. 

You think I'm joking but I'm not.
If you spent much time around me you'd see how Proby does it.
She just stares at me until I hear her.
Proby really does not bark, not sure she remembers how.

Mastiff's just aren't much on barking.
Mastiff's figure you should know what there thinking without saying it. 

Remember that time Rudy saved pinky from Coyote's?
Not a word, but man did those coyote run like hell.
Rudy came down that hill with pure menace n no doubt.
Those coyote's knew the righteous hand of God was about to smite them.
They gone! It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I was truly grateful Rudy got to live that moment before she passed.

Hell looka that Proby ran my dream last night n now she's taken over today's Post.
Should I be getting nervous.
God, she's good.

Come on folks, Probies post to be at least 200
AHHHHHHHHHH 600!
Yup Guilt, I told you Proby could use mind control over humans. She got her 200 views. 
actually 600 views.

Again thanks to everyone for wishing me well on my Birthday.

Curious about something.
Who is it putting things on my screen saver?
Just noticed following comment on my screen saver, a pic of Rudy.
Upper right corner.
"Even monkeys fall out of trees."
Who's doing that?


Secret time.
Kathy just left for cottage that Ri, Matt n the girls are at.
Here's the thing, I like being alone on my Birthday.
I don't handle Birthdays well, it's easier if I'm alone.
Well that is me n Po.

OK, Time for me, Po, Billy dog, etc to go out n meet the day. A tractor n DIRT will be involved. 

$10 away from getting my Biannual $100 check from google, please click some adverts


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.






Pez Outlaw Diary

Friday, November 20, 2015

Misdirection #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Is it that I'm rarely certain of exactly what I'm doing or why.
Or nothing is what it appears to be on the surface.

Are there agendas under the stated agenda.
When I'm talking to bob am I really talking to someone else I know is reading this.
In short, Am I the alligator?

Nothing I ever say is meant for just one ear or interpretation.
Let alone meant for only one outcome.

Only one thing is certain, and even that is not the stated subject.
The stated subject is simply the means to the true goal.
None of which are celebrity. 
Celebrity meaning the success of Pez Outlaw is just a means to an end.

The commonly held belief for the outcome of Pez Outlaw is a ruse.
That which others would roll like Preashus Pup over is not at all the goal.
To be honest the realistic win of that scenario does not cover the tab. 
For the goal/bill to be actually achieved takes a domino effect.

Pez Outlaw will go on to whatever future or mark he makes, but he n I will part ways once my true goals are achieved.

I've been speaking in riddles for so long now that at times even I'm uncertain.
Clarity seems to be a rare commodity in a world that demands it.

Some things in my personal life have clarity.
That would be the farm and what is expected of me by my employers, the horses n dogs.

Other things like Pez Outlaw not so much.
I have no idea what's going on at the moment with Pez Outlaw, I'm definitely not in the loop.
Truth be told I know less every day.

My dream is to just walk away?
Clear the racks, load the bin.
And never look back. 

Operating on autopilot.
Endless stream of Zero's.
No emotion, no investment.

Crazy isn't all it's cracked up to be.

For the record. Have you ever tried to argue with a computer.
The most ridiculous things are required just because the algorithm says so. 
Stupidity is irrelevant. You just comply n swallow the absurdity. 
You can not win an argument with a computer, they are cold and unfeeling.
Like a good little drone you answer stupid til the computer says you can go. 
Roughly 100 times today. 

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Relentless n Shameless #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I am never offended when someone unfriends me because they just can't take it anymore.

Every time somebody I know asks to be friended on facebook.
I ask them or at least think, 
Are you sure you really want this?

I often think of my methods as Brute Force.
In the vane of the old Soviet Method of re-engineering technology.
Give me something stupid, I use it.
Lack of understanding how to use something, no problem.
Just plow forward.

No fear of being trashed by someone who might take exception To Pez Outlaw Diary or a post on Notes From The Asylum.
There anger would just be free publicity.

On twitter alone I've got over 56,600 posts.
My facebook friends definitely grow weary of being the conduit to my imaginary perception of the Internet as an entity.

Anyway I'm sorry to my friends on facebook.
I'm not going to stop, but I am sorry. 

This post is a prime example.
There was a point to the Torture of today's posts on google+, facebook and twitter.

I know that I can get over 1,000 views of Notes Fron The Asylum in less than 4 hrs if I'm willing to put the work in. Today once again I proved the point. 1,100 views.

It's not about being right. Proving a point or using you.  

To the contrary I really appreciate you and the dependable interest level in Notes From The Asylum.

Notes From The Asylum has 254 individual blog posts and that is after deleting well over 100 that were very weak. Example, just replaced the show your butt girls post with this one. 

Anyway days like today are to show myself the strength of Notes From The Asylum, but only if I'm willing to personally put the work in.

Please allow me one more little brag.
Secrets #pezoutlaw #hollywood #92Crazy #timetravel...
Is on track to be the Best post that I've ever written.

Pez Outlaw Diary 

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Taboo, Suicide Death Alzheimer's #pezoutlaw #hollywood

I say Taboo because we all share this collective illusion of immortality.
It's the don't ask, don't tell of life itself.
We all act out each day like this isn't temporary, my Mother in Law knew different.

I remember how for the last decade of my mother in laws life she started doing things to prepare for her death.
She wanted to get things ready so she wouldn't be a burden on her children.
I remember thinking that it was kinda odd behavior.
I've always tried to have a rule that you do not give death 1 second of life, death will get it's own.

Now I find myself signing Pez Outlaw on as many pez as I can so my family will have them if they need them n I'm no longer here to sign them.
I gotta tell ya, I don't even like admitting to this.
The thing that gets you thinking this way is all the celebrities near my age that died in 2016.
Hopefully that's not how this plays out, because I'd sure like to be here n see it happen.

Actually there are 2 sides to everything I've done over the last 2 decades.

Pez Outlaw Diary.
Yes I'd love it to become a movie n a book, but I also want a record of all this in my own hand for my grandchildren.

Notes From The Asylum
That's a tougher nut to crack.
On one hand I wanted it to flesh out Pez Outlaw.
The Diary says what happened, The Asylum fleshes out the person.

N we get back to my mother in law.
With Pez Outlaw Diary n Notes From The Asylum I've tried to leave enough information behind if it's needed.

Father Mulcahy, Princess Leia, Mork.
With each death it's getting harder n harder to maintain my illusion of immortality.
That I know of I'm not going anywhere at the moment but my mother in law's behavior is creeping in.
Until that day I'll keep running for president, writing in Notes From The Asylum n signing pez dispensers.

Yesterday I mentioned to Kathy that I hadn't seen anything on facebook from someone in a very long time.
The person seemed very depressed last I heard.
Why don't I just ask? 
Really because If, I don't want to know.
2016 had enough sadness, I don't want anymore.

The above post is exactly why I play in a partially fantasy world most of the time.

In reality I find to much sadness.

I find joy in my fantasy world.
Moriah said the coolest funny thing yesterday.
Somebody asked her something about the social life of the Horses.
Moriah told them, I'll have to ask Dad n get the latest horse gossip.

That's me, out there talking to the horses and dogs n them talking back to me.
You would not believe the stuff they say.

For the record Milo/dog doesn't even try to hide from humans that he's talking to them.
Most animals are very subtle about speaking to humans but not ole Milo.
I'm sure he's breaking some animal rule by doing it.

With most animals there talking, but you only hear them if you're listening.
Though, thinking about it, it might be a crazy person thing.
Potato, Potato.

Back to signing pez in case the kids need them.
Takes a while for the ink to dry.

**************************************

I decided to put 3 rough topics all in 1 post.
These subjects suck at getting views but I feel they are important enough to keep up. 
 
Suicide

To be honest this post will do shitty.
Talking about things people prefer not to is not a view getter.
I'm going to leave this post up in spite of that.
If just one person finds help or feels less alone, this post is worth it.

Recently I was informed that someone I know is talking about committing suicide.
This comes on the heels of a young man with small children that I know who did commit suicide.

I have to admit to you that this troubles me.
I've told you that part of my deal is that I have many voices who fight to be heard in my head.
One faction just likes to dredge up whatever it thinks will upset me.
So of course that topic gets air time in my head.

Life is a very complicated journey, with very few truths that are easily known.
The most important of those truths and my number one rule is.
You were born so it's abundantly clear that you are supposed to continue life's journey to it's natural end.

Every month I suffer from a few days of depression.
Sometime my internal clock gets really messed up n this can go on for a long time.
That said I always remember, even if the depression lasts for a month, it will pass.
That on the other side is something worth waiting for.
You do not give up, you play the hand out. 

Yes I suffer from depression but on the bright side I'm an unbelievable optimist.
I believe in myself and I believe anything is possible if you keep trying.
I do not understand giving up as a result of depression.
To me if you are at bottom you fight with constraints and inhibitions removed.

If you feel you have nothing left to lose, instead of choosing suicide you should consider the idea that you have been liberated.
I try to turn negatives into positives.
Depressed n at your bottom = free to fight with nothing to lose.
Obsessive compulsive = focus n tunnel vision on a goal.
Bipolar schizophrenic = a very unique viewpoint on life. ability to find solutions n ways of looking at things that others don't.
ADD, well not sure yet, that one still stumps me. though I admit that when I catch myself running around like Ricochet Rabbit. It does make me laugh.

I can talk about these things because they are my life.
Actually diagnosed schizophrenic in 1969. 
Some things you just know to be true, High highs low lows Bipolar.
Constantly checking n double checking doors locks knobs, obsessive compulsive.
Distracted to new shiny objects or thoughts ADD.
Depression, I'm coming out of a 3 day cycle at this moment.
So yeah I believe I get the right to talk about these things.

To people who worry about who they are to others.
Close your eyes n look inward. Figure out who you are not who you are to others.
Project that inner vision of yourself to others.
If they don't get it or reject who you truly are.
Screw them, they're idiots, be a force of nature.
Care about what you think n what you think of yourself.
Find as close as you can to inner peace.

Every day is a gift, each is a fresh chance to get it right.
Each morning when you wake is like a rebirth, you can if you choose leave yesterday behind n start new.

I hope my life's journey will be an inspiration to people who find themselves at the bottom.
Hopefully they will see how not giving up, choose life.
That it is possible to find something to live for.
That there is hope. 

Choose life.Choose to dare the impossible.
Death will find you soon enough.

The D Word

Don't play with death, you might make it aware of you.
We all deal with the inevitable eventuality of death in our own way.
I overheard Kathy say to someone, he thinks he's never gonna die.

I have been trying to deal with death since I was roughly 5 years old.
Watching Roy Rogers with my family a character on the show died, which brought me to inconsolable tears.
My mother bless her, got out the Bible to try n help me find peace with it all.

I've told you that there are many voices/personalities in my brain and that I've selected the best of them to be in charge.
One of those voices is death, not a fun guy at all. He has been thrown through the front window of my mind more times than I can count.

Death will find me when it's my time, I do not and I will not waste valuable moments of life in contemplation of death.

I choose instead to live inside each moment of life. I rarely think in the past, as I believe each day to be a new beginning. A fresh start, an opportunity to do better.

My personality has evolved, once angry n short fused, now calm and measured.

To the contrary I am very aware that I am going to die, that shadow has walked by my side every second of my life.

It's there, I just refuse to think about it. While I can, I choose life.
I choose to live each day as it's own in defiance of death.

To live each day does not for me include Bungy Jumping or a Bucket List.
Each day has it's own value, without High Octane Adrenaline filled activity.
I like normalcy, familiarity.
People with "Normal" minds seek Crazy Fun.
For us Crazy folk, we seek normal, calm n happy.

Alzheimer's

My father died from Alzheimer's so you know, kinda worried about that.
About 15 yrs ago, last time I saw a Doctor, He played the Alzheimer's game. 
I was not amused, I walked out on that Doctor.
Don't they realize that we are scared to death of that shit.

I've told you that my grandfather was the town drunk in Farwell Michigan.
I've told you that I'm an Alcoholic, sober 45yrs.
Well my dad was a text book Alcoholic also.
Forgive me but it is my prayer that his Alcoholism contributed to his Alzheimers.
If you know different, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
I cling to this thread of hope.

Which brings us to Last night, when I went out to bring Tenny horse in for the night.
Kathy n Laurie were in the old barn when I got there.
AHEM, Dude you got the wrong horse.

On examination I had grabbed Robin not Tenny.
Here's the problem Robin is a big draft cross, tenny is more or less a pony.
Well shit, Talk your way out of that one.

When I get Tenny I find Bo then just grab the other one.
Other than white splashes on Bo, he n tenny are identical.
Found Bo, looked down where tenny usually is.
Expected to see Tenny so Tenny is who I saw.
Walking downhill to get him Robin looked shorter.
Just looped him n off we went.
Tenny n Robin thought it was a great joke.

Explain this one dude.
Robin is the only one that wears a blanket in that pen.
To be honest, I just didn't look.

Major embarrassment which is bad enough I'd've figured it out but shit, 2 people saw me do it.


So yeah, Alzheimer fears crept in.
After all, I do love to torture myself.

Here's the truth though.
I expected to see Tenny so I saw Tenny.
I was not paying attention, Kinda cold.

Unlike everybody else around here I'm actually not a horse person.
I feed, pick up horse poo n talk to the horses, that's it.
I do not ride horses. 
So all the nuances of each horse are lost on me, Don't care.
Red Horses are red Horse's.
Smokey/cowboy is Black.
Dub is Buckskin n that's fancy, he's tan/brown.
Gabe is Big Ole Gabe.
Marny is Marny, Roz is Roz.
Hell, there are 18 horses around here??????

Anyway, Thanks One Hell Of A Lot Kathy n Laurie For Stoking My Alzheimer Fears. 

Add to the above my general squirrelyness.
I have OCD n A.D.D. tendencies.
I have very long rituals that each must be done so I can move on.
Every gate must be checked. Doors must be checked.
Like that shit isn't enough, Kathy n Laurie had to catch me drifting.
Seriously, When does a guy catch a break around here?

For the record stop giggling; Tenny, Bo, Robin, Kathy n Laurie.
It was not that funny.



After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.






Pez Outlaw Diary

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Pez Outlaw Manifesto #pezoutlaw #pez #hollywood

#whoispezoutlaw that's really the important part #pez #pezoutlaw

Every Self Respecting Crazy Needs A Manifesto! 
Though I do suggest you skip the cabin in the woods. 

I would do business with shady folks over corporate types any day of the week.
In my experience shady folk can be trusted way more than corporate types.

When I was a Pez smuggler I earned 4.5 million dollars dealing with shady types.
I did one deal with Pez Corporation n lost 1/2 million dollars and 20 years of work.

If I had a Do Over. I never would have tried to go legit. It was more fun and way more profitable being a Pez Outlaw.

You can buy the loyalty of shady folks. Corporate types can not be trusted, they will double cross you in a second.

I'll walk on the shady side of the street from here.

I believe what I see, the rest is just noise.

Today is kinda an odd day for me. I find myself missing the game.

Would I do it again now. Yah, I guess I would but here's the thing. Back then It was money that did the trick. 

Today I'd do it different. Pez Outlaw is my currency, only he can or could make the things happen that folks wanted money for before.

The name Pez Outlaw is a brand now which changes things. If you want to be associated with the Pez Outlaw brand, my rules.

Yes of course you'd get your money, but not up front anymore. When n if you deliver n it sold well, then you get paid.

The hobby n Pez Corporation have been living off what I built and my ideas for a decade n a half.

The Pez world I built n it's success has been squandered. God bless it took 15 years to slowly lose everything I built. Only Pez Outlaw could rebuild it.

In today's world nuance is lost as mediocrity, BOLD takes the day.

The 24 hr rule is in effect. Not a reader of the Asylum? Then you won't know what that means.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Talking to Animals #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

There is a horse on the farm that was scared of me/men when she came here.
It's taken 3 years but the other day when she saw me she came running full speed to me. 
All I did was give her room, respect her space n provide a steady reliable routine.

With horses and dogs I've had to undo a lot of damage by ignorant previous "owners".
It can take years to undo. Sometimes all you can do is lessen the damage.

One of the ways I do this is by talking to the animals.
A lady was working with Johnny Cash (horse) I asked her how it went.
They were having issues.
This happens over n over with lots of horses.
It sounds simplistic but I always ask, are you talking to him.
I feel it's important to have a relationship with a horse before you ever try to ride it.
If a horse likes or loves you, they will give you the benefit of the doubt.
No relationship, they'd just as soon put you on the ground.

That's not to say that a group of horses can't be trained n made to understand that there job is to give strangers rides. But then again they are doing that out of respect for there trainer "Kathy" that has asked them to do that. In that case they are doing it because of the relationship that they have with her not the rider.
 
Another way I communicate with animals is by example. 
I present as calm n strong a presence as I can.
It does not hurt that I also feed them.
To the horses I'm steady Eddy.
Every day roughly same times, I'm there with food.
I ask nothing, I just feed them. Trust me they notice.

With my dogs.
I eat, then they always get a good portion of whatever or whenever I eat.
Exactly the same way it would be in there world in the wild.
Dogs understand this, the leader of the pack always eats first, then he shares.

One quick note on rescue dogs.
I have one trick I use from day one.
I rename the dog the day it arrives.
New name for a new life.
You might be surprised to learn Billy Dogs original name was Lilly.
Lilly was the dog tied with a rope to a tree in zero degree temps.
When Billy arrived she asked me if she could have a better life, I told her she was home now.
Billy Dog is my Knuckle Head buddy. 
Billy is the unstoppable dog, optimistic beyond reason. 
Billy helped me get over the loss of Rudy.

I don't know what Pinkies name was.
Found him in the corner of a pasture at a young age freezing n burns all over his back.
Pinky asked me to please take him in, I told him all that was over, he was home now.
Being an Albino Doberman I gave him as playful a name as I could think of.
His trauma was very deep, years n years of talking to help him find a place he can live with in his mind.

Once a dog picks me I have no choice, I must agree to give them all I can.
I give them my strength to lean on n they give me there's.

I love Dogs n Horses, they are my friends.
In most cases I like Dogs more than I like humans.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Never, "Mind" #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Do we hold on to tight to our dreams sometimes?
Believe it or not this is not about Pez Outlaw.
It's about something I've been watching now for over 30 years.

I don't want to be specific because that might be unkind.
Here's what it boils down to.

People sometimes find meaning in things that are not there own.
Even though it's not there's they treat it at time like it is there's.
I also keep seeing the desperate struggle that goes on to keep the dream alive.
Floundering yet unwilling to accept reality.

It's not important, I just keep watching it repeat over n over.
Make's me wonder, is this just a symptom of a bigger thing.

We've all been beat down for so long, are we all within our spheres rebelling.

We may know it's futile but just can't bare the thought of losing again.

Like I said, it's not important.
These dramas need to play out.

I'm not putting a lot of money on my brain today.
It's not a dependable unit at the moment. 
Nobody has escaped that I know of, but my mind does feel a bit understaffed. 

Hey does anybody know?
Is Hollywood back from the Holiday break yet?
I could use some good news. #pezoutlaw #hollywood 
I followed 5 days of the flu with a kidney stone. so yeah some good news would be welcome.

Pez Outlaw Diary 

 

Monday, October 12, 2015

Incommunicado & NFTA Reduction #pezoutlaw

I do not have a cell phone.
I had a  cell phone but Kathy canceled it because I never turned it on. 

With the recent activity on Pez Outlaw Diary, there are people out west that wish this was not the case. 
I do not talk on telephones. I dislike them with a passion. 
This is a rule I do not break except for Kathy. 
You want to talk to me, facebook is the only way & even there I'm very selective.
When certain things begin, this will also act as a filter against unwanted attention or interest.

In The Sockology of Cell Phones, Mirrors n Technology... I go into my dislike of cell phones n technology in general. 

A few years ago Kathy used to pay my grandson to fill the water tanks, she wanted to give him some money, I do it now.
My grandson had his head down looking at n typing into his cell phone the whole time.

People in general nowadays are tethered to n at the beck n call of there cell phones. 
Everywhere you look people are hunched over fooling around with there phones.
If you are having an actual face to face with someone, there phone wrings or texts them, there no longer there.

I've always had a disdain for the idea of telephones.
Someone out there decides it's convenient for them to reach out with a phone, the act has no consideration for if you even want to talk to them or anyone at that moment.
The act assumes & decides that what you are doing is secondary to the whim of the call n it's timing.

The second part is this.
The preoccupation of the young n some old with cell phone, always hunched over looking at them.
This activity does not respect a good work ethic.
You do your work, then you play or relax.
Current habits with phones mix the two, showing disrespect to the people around you & the work you are supposed to be doing.

That's why I only communicate on facebook. 
I only talk or respond when I like.
You only pay attention to what you want to. 

NFTA Reduction

NFTA = Notes From The Asylum
I just cut approximately 1/2 the posts on Notes From The Asylum.
You could say I did some editing with a meat cleaver not a scalpel.

Reason, They sucked.

OK there was more to it than that.
With Notes From The Asylum I want to put my best foot forward.
If someone happens on Notes From The Asylum I want hem to be interested.
Say the post they happen on isn't very good, well you know. Bye, Bye.

There is a grading system for posts on Notes From The Asylum.
That grading system is defined by the number of views each post gets.

BOOOOOM! My Head Just Exploded. #pezoutlaw is currently at just under 1,500 views.
It's the #1 post on Notes From The Asylum.
All the deleted posts were at less than 125 views
Over 100 posts were deleted.   

I need new viewers of  Notes From The Asylum  to only see the best posts. 
This cut was at 125 n less views.
The next cut I'm considering is at less than 150ish views, but that's a bit down the road.

Pez Outlaw Diary




Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Let Her Rip. #pezoutlaw #hollywood

This is the Asylum so I'm gonna let her rip.

With my writing no one piece is at all what it's about.
My intent is the creation of an overall abstract impact on an entity I do not understand.
That entity is the Internet.

Sistine Chapel or common inner city tagger.
Each day I get out my brushes n try to create a stroke of paint on the canvas of the Internet.
Unlike most who write on twitter, facebook or blog, I'm not writing for or to people who might want or do read it.
My work is for an overall impact on that entity "the Internet".
No one piece is going to own its moment.

I've told you that the Universe speaks to me.
Horses, Dogs, garden tractors etc.
That I will lay under a tractor for 45 minutes feeling around n observing until I see the problem n it tells me how to fix it.

I feel the Internet is the same thing.
Each post is me feeling around n listening once I post it.
The Internet hasn't spoken to me yet, but I'm patient.

When the Internet speaks it will speak in the form of a million views.
That dear reader is when n where you come in.
Until then my job is to be prolific.

You wanna hear one thing that's kinda funny.
The Internet does not like it when you refer to it as the internet.
It prefers the capital I in Internet, not small i.
On that point it has spoken to me.

Pez Outlaw Diary

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

We're different now. #pezoutlaw



I liked this. didn't know any other way to share it.
Where I got it from.
Basically somebody said that nothings different, we're just more aware now.
Which is just modern for I'm OK, you're OK.

To me, no.
We were different back then.
In the 1950s n earl 1960s we viewed the world, our neighborhoods n our neighbors different than today.
As a child, I was different from most children today.
Grab at me or cross me n we were gonna fight.
Don't care who you were or how big you were, we were gonna fight.
Touch my brothers, we were gonna fight.
Hurt a girl, we were gonna fight. Broke my collar bone on that one.
Talk wrong about my Mom, we were definitely gonna fight. 

Let's face it, I made a pretty insincere Flower Child.
I kinda fought a lot especially in grade-school.
Nowadays somebody acts wrong. You smack them up side the head n you're in trouble.
Things have just went backwards. 
Society no longer allows adjustments for bad behavior, so it just continues.

My grandsons are being raised that way n I put wrenches in my granddaughters hands as often as I can.

The Difference.
A little girl from California was here when we did Hay.
A board was missing on the wagon.
California said we should put a caution sign around it.
I guarantee you my granddaughters were thinking,
Grandpa, you need to fix that.
One granddaughter in particular if she thought I'd let her would have been grabbing a board nails n a hammer. If she'd been given even a nod. 

No, OH BUDDY YOU BETCHA Things are different now for sure.

To me it's how we look at it.
Like the new thing, Free range parenting.
When I was young that was called parenting period.

I think that's why I kept going back to Hungary in the 1990s.
Beyond the obvious reason "PEZ".
Hungary in the 1990s reminded me of my childhood in the late 1950s n early 1960s.

We live in a society where if someone behaves in a proper fashion, people call them a hero instead of a good neighbor. 

A postscript after Paris.
Not a criticism just not How I'd look at it.
A terrorist says on your knees.
To late dude I'm already coming.
I like my odds against a terrorist better if I go at him than on my knees.
I know a lot of other Americans that would agree with me. 
Don't think about it, just go.
It's not a choice, it's about survival.

Pez Outlaw Diary