Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Old Children #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Just got to sneezing so hard I had to grab the back of my head to keep it from fallin off.


Outhouse by Willie Makit
Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Camel
School Truancy by Marcus Absent
Rusty Bedsprings by I. P. Freely
Under The Bleachers by Seymour Butts 

These jokes are not new.
As a matter of fact these jokes are probably older than I am.

I also find that I have a renewed appreciation for Knock Knock Jokes.
My grandchildren can tell me the stupidest joke n I'll think it's just great.
As a matter of fact the stupider a joke is, the more I like it.

These jokes made me laugh when I was 8 years old n they make me laugh today.
Which hasta make you wonder.

Why is it that Old Men have the same sense of humor as there 8yr old self's did?
Does it have something to do with having seen a lot n yearning for a simpler time?

When did it get so complicated n who's driving.
My inner child had a better grip.

When you're young you want to be older so you can get on with it.
When you're older you wish for the grace of innocence.
If it wasn't so sad it would be funny.
Then you push on, with hope for the future.


This post used to be 2 posts, upon reflection I did not like where either one went.
There was a much simpler point to be made, I hope I got there this time. 


Special Announcement

As soon as I get enough money I will commission 2 special Exclusive NEW Pez Outlaw items.

1. A black Pez Outlaw T shirt with the Pez Outlaw image on it.

My intent will be that these shirts will be made by Marcia Marshall
I believe in doing business with friends.
My experience with The Kids in The Hall T shirts tells me that XL n Mediums are good enough so as to simplify ordering but I will have a dozen or 2 of 2XL made because that's what I wear.

This is the Pez Outlaw image which will be on the black T's n the pin.
2. When I have the money I will commission a Pez Outlaw pin from the Pin Center.

I just wanted to share.
 


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Sunday, January 29, 2017

Yokoroko #pezoutlaw #hollywood #NFTA

Money won't make me happy??????
But, I'm Willin To Try Real Hard. 
somebody said that, but I'm stealin it. 
I've worked over 10,950hrs on the Pez Outlaw project, which comes to almost 4yrs at 8hrs per day every day. 
The results so far are over 1million views of my work.

For lack of a better word, this image is original Pez Outlaw Art.
I've always loved images like this.
You can see all sorts of images in it.
The most obvious image is a Dog, but at different times you can see up to 3 or 4 others characters in it.

I've fooled around with this sort of thing for over 40yrs.
It's pointless but it amuses me.

I've used this post to go several places.
The last topic will be the launch of Pez Outlaw Blog.

***************************************************

I just watched a video of 2 guys messing with an alligator.
One held the tail while the other fool stuck his head in the mouth of the gator.
You guessed it, it did not go as expected.

Only a redneck would think that's a good idea.
Before you get all shirty on me, I'm a redneck so I can say that.

Problem was they thought they had that gator by the tail.

Life is a funny old thing.
folks think they got you just where they want you.
Then they are shocked when they get bit by the gator.

Best to figure out if you're the gator or the fools messing with a gator.

Yesterday someone asked me a question, well at least I thought they did.
Which brings me to my point.

If you ask me a question I will decide what I think, usually you will get an answer.
I do not understand people who can't make up there minds.
I've even met people who when faced with needing to decide actually look scared at the prospect.

Around here, we got a joke.
Whatcha Doin?
Long explanation.
Translation = Railing, you know against whatever you got.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Thursday, January 12, 2017

Angry Nation, Instinct, Food, Amish, dd8-5 #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Breaking News!
We are no longer just Angry White Males.
We are now also ignorant.

I think the Political class n big money finally got the message last night.
You've ignored us, placated us, n decided what's best for us.
Promise after promise broken.
To that our answer is, We give you Trump. 
Can you hear us now? 
Screw the consequences, we're tired of being sacrificial lambs to your greed for power n money.
If we'd settled for one of your bullshit candidates as usual, things would've continued as usual.

Are you making the kind of money you wish you were or really need to be?
How long has it been since you felt that government was actually listening to you?
Do you feel that government is working for you or do you feel you work for the government?
Do you feel government or big corporations have your best interests at heart or each others?

Do you feel that the government is in the way of your dreams for a brighter future?

These questions are the reality of the poor n middle class.
These questions are why Americans are so angry.

I have to add one thing.
I find it very ironic that the EPA wants to regulate mudd puddles but can't keep lead out of the drinking water in Flint Michigan. 
Airy Fairy Goals n Feather Headed Thinking seem more important than actually doing there job.

I think that's why a lot of Americans have went small.
I'll deal with my world, because I can actually do something there.
An awful lot of us have just given up.

I heard this morning that Franklin Graham is going to rally in every state n try to fire up voters.
Many including Franklin Graham say that this election is the one, that we either change direction or we lose who we are forever.
I'm not a particularly religious person but I have watched Franklin Graham. 
Franklin Graham's work with Samaritan's Purse has been a credit to his name.

I tend to trust Franklin Graham and his motives, he to my eyes has been a selfless person with honorable goals n intentions.
The Problem is that we have had our hearts broken by politicians so many times that we seem to have lost our ability to believe in any of them. 

Which is why you have the Trump/Sanders phenomenon.

Are Donald Trump or Bernie Sanders really the answer to our anger or are they just the symbol of that anger? 

Would Trump or Sanders actually be an improvement? 
We would have clearly let the Political class know how we feel, but would we have bit our nose to spite our face?
I just don't know because unfortunately like you I'm thick in the middle of it n lack the wisdom to know. 

Our betters warn us of the peril, but we do not trust them anymore.
Right now I'm not sure we trust anyone anymore.
We all wish for n yearn for just one honest person who will take office n truly look out for the poor n middle class.
I'm not sure I see that person.

Seriously I do not know where that leaves us.
I had my heart broken in 2012 n it would appear I have still not recovered.

I'm very reluctant to be Charlie Brown again n have Lucy snatch the football away again at the last minute.
No I do not understand the Billionaire phenomena of the last decade, it just seems a little "Let them eat cake".
Anything over 1 Billion dollars just seems obscene and disproportionate.
No I do not trust large Corporations after having my hopes of the American dream crushed by Pez Corporation. see Pez Outlaw Diary
No I do not trust government because at every turn government seems to be playing an adversarial role to We The People.

Franklin, God Love You, but it's going to take some serious preaching to get us to believe again.
Think you got me figured out?
Let me mess with that.
My first vote as a young man was for the Patron Saint Of Lost Causes, George McGovern.

Life's a Crap Shoot

Well it's official.
Americans are really pissed off.
Tired of putting there trust in promises that are not kept.
Tired of being pawns in some big game that they do not understand.
Tired of taking handouts n leftovers n saying thank you.
Tired of being told what's best for us all the while screaming at the top of our lungs what we really want.
Tired of those who live removed from reality lives making the decisions for we who must do the hard things.

Only those leading cushy lives can afford all these asinine ideas.
You live on silk n high count thread cotton, we live in the dirt. 

We are about to make the biggest mistake in our nations history or the smartest thing we as voters have ever done.
I honestly have no idea which it is.
The interesting thing is like you I'm ready to roll the dice n take that chance, because what we've been doing works I'm sure for somebody but that somebody is not us.

Politically left n right we are ready to end the good ole boy way of things.
I agree with the left that wealth has been concentrated into the hands of the few at the expense of the middle class n the poor.
I personally find the extreme wealth of a very few obscene.
Or in more polite words a comic farce.
Who on earth needs more than a Billion Dollars?
Then again after my experience with Pez Corporation destroying the business that took me 2 decades to build, you would expect as much.

When I saw the image of Marco Rubio standing next to Nikki Haley, I thought maybe I was seeing the thing that might be the compromise.
That said, not sure we are going that direction.

What we are about to do is fine, I'm just saying, your eyes are wide open. Right.
I'm willing to roll the dice.

I'm just venting, I hope that you will indulge me.
Feelin kinda pissy this morning.
This post probably wont survive long. 

Pez Outlaw, Anarchist???? 
Maybe just this morning.

Instinct
It's basic human nature to follow the strong in times of trouble.
For that matter it's in our animal instinct to do so.

Dogs in the wild will pack behind the strongest dog.
Horses will heard behind the strongest Horse.
Humans are animals by nature and no different.

We try to be different and when things are going well we will follow a weak horse that looks n sounds good.
But when we are truly frightened by our world we will seek out a strong horse that looks like he can protect us.

To me that's exactly why this year in politics candidates that in other years would have thrived seem shallow as there speeches to us.
Americans want a true leader, someone who has shown an ability to win n speak his mind.
When you are looking for strength you will forgive a lot, that in other times would have disqualified a candidate.

I'm saying that for as much as we try to distinguish ourselves from the family of animals that we come from during times of fear we revert to our base instincts.
We try to fight it, Hell I try to fight it, but somehow we can't deny the attraction.

Years ago when I saw a certain politician speak, I said I've seen this before.
I recognized what I saw n heard immediately, I had already lived it.
So I did not fall under the spell.

Now we are where we are.
The times have created the moment.
Professionals are bewildered.
What was is of no value.

People seek a true leader not talk.
How many times are you let down before you reject words.
Groomed to be king, words fed by spoon.
Correct path taken, is no more.

A leader steps forth.
Rough edged n ill mannered.
Honesty even if it's ugly.
You want a voice that will stand defiant.

I will live with the survivor. 


I'm reminded of one of my favorite stories.
Howard Hughes was appearing before Congress.
Hughes was asked, will you make so n so appear befor us n answer questions.
Hughes replied, "No, I don't think I will".
Congress could do nothing because he was Howard Hughes.

What I have always admired about that moment was Howard Hughes strength to power.
Americans have tried strength to power for some time now n it has failed.
To be honest I'm not as surprised as the pundits that America is now turning to it's baser instinct and a strong horse.

When your beliefs are systematically destroyed you turn to instinct.
You are no longer susceptible to the voices you hold responsible for the realization of your fears.

I don't know how this is going to play out, but I do understand why it is happening.

Form dd8-5 

Because if you didn't use the -5, well buddy you need to start over.
You see, if I remember right, you aren't even allowed to lose your mind unless you fill out the right forms.
If you only Knew.

There is a lot of anger n dissatisfaction in America right now.
Which could lead to very bad choices.
It's like you should never go grocery shopping when you are hungry.  
Again you are going to make bad choices.

In the early part of the last century people in Europe were Angry, Scared n Dissatisfied.
They decided Hitler n Mussolini were the men to lead them out of there troubles.

I'm just saying.
I understand the anger.
I understand the disillusionment.
I understand the fear.

But we can not or at least should not go grocery shopping when we are hungry.
We are bound to make bad choices n the bill will be much higher.

We need to step back. Find some calm, then re-approach the issues with a cleared mind.
A mind not clouded by our anger n frustration at not being listened to.

Trust me, I get it, my frustration n anger caused me to walk away for 6 yrs.
I retreated to the farm, family n my own thoughts.
I scaled back my news intake to approximately 1 hr per day from over 4 hrs.

The current choices though are not the answer, they are only the revelation of how deep the dissatisfaction is.
Send the message, fine, but then step back n choose wisely.
I've narrowed my choices to about 4 that I'm carefully watching.
None of my choices include Mussolini.

Amish

One of my friends is an Amish farrier. I've joked with him that one day soon he might become a very popular guy.

My tin foil hat fear is an EM pulse.

I just think people don't know how to do for themselves anymore. My son Josh n I would be ok, which means our entire family would be ok.

My dad was a getter done kinda guy n even though he thought I was not paying attention. I was.

Add to that the fact that on n off since 1970 I've been my own guy. The, I got a guy thing.

It just seems to me the more technology we get dependent on, the less we know about how to actually take care of ourselves.

Josh n I can take it from the ground to the table. if neccessary make whatever we need.

That EM thing would be a really life altering event for this country.

I just think old Henry n his folks are gonna be real popular.

The Legend of Pez Outlaw has even reached The Amish Community.

A day or 2 ago I explained that our farrier is an Amish person named Henry.
Ole Henry n I see eye to eye on a whole lot of things.
I guess you could say we are friends.

For being Amish ole Henry is a very traveled man. He does not drive cars but people drive him all over the place.

Henry was telling me that recently on a long drive there was a person with a tablet of one type or another.
Henry said, hey there's an article out there somewhere on steve glew, can you find it so I can read it.

Well there you go Pez Outlaw has now reached the Amish community.

A better headline would be "Amish Read Playboy".

No offense intended because I'd be willing to bet you Ole Henry had no idea what publication he was reading that Pez Outlaw story came from. The guy next to him just pulled up the Pez Outlaw Story on his tablet thingy.

To Jeff Maysh, Ole Henry liked the story, said it was pretty good. 

OK, OK, hyping Pez Outlaw n Joking aside.
I really respect the Amish community and Ole Henry specifically.
Henry goes out into our world to earn, then takes it back to his world.
My intent with Pez Outlaw is to emulate that work ethic. 
I hope to go out into a foreign to me world and earn, then take those earnings back to my world to secure our future.



Food


One of my favorite foods after Hungry Howie's cheesy bread sticks is the line of Velveeta meals.
My favorites are Bacon n Cheesy Mac. Warning I give them my own names, not there box names.

My least favorite Velveeta meal is the one that has very small noodles the size of rice.
When I'm done eating I always find myself annoyed at the fake rice. I really like Rice.

Which leads to the same statement over n over. Be rice or be a noodle, don't try to be both.
Last night Kathy had had enough, she threw out the fake rice from the box n replaced it with real rice.
It was yummy.
Next, replace the chicken with hamburger.


May cause anal leakage.

That has to be the funniest line I've ever heard to accompany someone trying to sell you something.

Who in there right mind is gonna say, yeah buddy where do I sign up after hearing that?

If your erection last more than 4 hrs, contact a doctor.

Seriously, are you kidding me?

In the 1950s Lucy could not use the word pregnant.
Married folks on tv had to sleep in separate beds and if they were in the same bed, each had to have one foot on the floor at all times.

Now we have anal leakage n erections lasting 4 hrs.

Seriously wasn't there a middle ground somewhere?




Pez Outlaw Theme Park     
Everybody gets a Pez Gun n we all run around shooting candy at each other.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Monday, January 9, 2017

Hollywood or Bust #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Hollywood, working on Pez Outlaw Movie @pezoutlaw #pezoutlaw #hollywood 

Maybe I've been to subtle, well let me state it clearer.
For 2yrs Hollywood has been working on making a Pez Outlaw Movie.

The first step was a story in the April 2015 issue of Playboy written by Jeff Maysh called

This Michigan Farmer Made $4 Million Smuggling Rare Pez Containers into the U.S.

see http://www.playboy.com/articles/pez-outlaw

Then a producer n a script.
Next a Major studio signed on.

What I think would help now is if I could get 1 Million Twitter followers, as a show of support for the idea of a Pez Outlaw Movie.

For more on the Pez Outlaw story see
Pez Outlaw Diary

Cast your vote for a Pez Outlaw Movie by following me on twitter, click

@pezoutlaw

I always follow back.   


After several rewrites, let's try this version.
I will admit that my confidence in this project is at an all-time low.
I'd put it off to depression but to be honest I'm hearing nothing n it's been quite a while.


Connect the imagery
She whispered "Kolinska"
Cab driver leads the way
Smokestacks tower over OZ

Just like ole Abbott n Costello
Next stop Hollywood
We'll find it after a while
Would my world change

My life is that of a low level worker
Like Eb from Green Acres
Pez Outlaw lived a decade worth viewing. 
I'm just a funny looking old man on a tractor.

Things can only affect you if you take them in.
I've seen folks get all wired tight
Start thinking that they are a deal
It does not end well.

Pez Outlaw is the repository
After 15 years I'm the caretaker
Pez Outlaw flew high
I have been humbled.

I can help
But I will never read it
I just can't look in Mirrors
I can't deal with the me you perceive.

I've learned how things must go
The road to who I am was difficult
I do not mess with that
Stay on the path  


If Hollywood says yes
I will not talk on a telephone
No meals, except what Kathy hands me
Handshaking, gloves would be nice

If Hollywood makes a Pez Outlaw Movie
It would be an honor
Would that make me Happy
I've been working almost 2 decades

Satisfaction, recognition, Validation
That's why I hope it happens 
A lifetime of work 
I believe I'd find closure.

A Pez Outlaw Book
A Pez Outlaw Movie
That's "everything you dreamed of"
I've never been vague about it

Fame was never the dream
I've known what my true goals are from the beginning
Raising awareness of the Pez Outlaw story
Enjoying, Notes From The Asylum.

Vindication in my belief that I could do it.
That when I was down to zero $$$$.
I realized that I still had my mind.
Vindication in myself and my belief in myself.

Somehow I don't doubt the outcome
The problem is the pain of the journey
I can almost feel the joy of release
Somethings up, I can smell it


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Saturday, January 7, 2017

"Normal" #pezoutlaw #hollywood

You don't tell people what you know to be true.
You wear the face that people expect n want to see.

Do you have any idea what a gift being normal is?
I have no idea what it's like.
Happy people are a real mystery to me. 
I consider neutral a very good day.

Notes From The Asylum is my therapy.

I watched the Brian Wilson movie last night.
Kinda depressing for me but it did end well.
Imagine hearing music.

It occurred to me that all he was doing was sharing what was in his head with the rest of the world.
Sound familiar?
Sharing is good, right?

Prompted me to ask Kathy the question that you never should. 
Guy was a bit crazy, I'm not that bad am I?
Kathy's answer, Sometimes.

Kathy n only Kathy has earned the right. 
What sanity I have, she helped me find.
Years of what even I can see was crazy, earned Kathy that right.

That was then though n this is now.
The years I even see as crazy are behind me.
I like to think of myself as a softer gentler crazy now. 

Which by the way is why I say forgive yourself of your past.
Every morning is a rebirth, a fresh start.
With that new day, try to get it right.

I answer Kathryn now, Yes Mam n No Mam.
My goal is to repay her for her years of faith that I was wort the time n effort.
She earned what I have left in life to give, I intend to make that good.

I understand that I have a unique perspective, but have rationalized it to a sense of normal.
You just can't begin to see how others see you.
I put it away by saying, it is what it is.

That's another reason I will never see the Pez Outlaw movie.
If Brian Wilson's story bothered me, just imagine one about yourself.
No way I'm lookin in that mirror.

Thing is of course they're gonna go with the crazy, it's the hook. 
N that's fine I get it.
I want n need the payday, so you know, have at it boys.

Back to Kathy's answer, sometimes yeah you're that crazy.
Immediately your mind wants to rewind the clips n review.
Which parts?

You understand I can't see it, right.
The only times I get a glimpse is in the eyes of people around me. 
A look on someones face, but even that by now is just normal.

People have been lookin at me weird since I was a kid.
Hippie thing, Straight Jacket, n now I look like Santa Claus.
Collar on a few hundred dollar new leather jacket irritates me, I cut it off. 

I don't know what to tell you, I just can't see it.
I'm aware of it n accept it but Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Hate to tell ya but to me my mind is normal, your mind is the one I don't understand.

I haven't got a freakin clue what it's like to be "Normal".
I only know what I know.
I only see the world the way I see it.

So when I go in you know that direction, no way I see it.
I've learned to embrace the word crazy.
My attempt is to take the word crazy back, to own it.

Brian Wilson's movie might be a sign of what's to come in the Pez Outlaw Movie.
I honestly have to leave that one alone also.
I've cut my deal, It is what it is.

I trust the people involved.
My only suggestion is, make a movie people enjoy.
How I come off is for you n they to decide.

No different than now.
I can not control how others perceive me. 
Crazy would be to try.

Truth is I never asked Kathy, which parts.
I just accepted what she said n let it go.
Though as you can see, I did write about it. 

Waste not want not.
I thought linking to trending tweets might be something. IT'S NOT!
Just trying to promote the cause.

That Probably was a Bad Idea

Then let's not do that.
N This is a better idea?

It would appear I temporarily lost control.
A saboteur had the controls. 

It happens.
51% sane.
2 points n ?

You mean like low tide?
What????
Sure, Why Not.

You get to thinking.
Well that was you're 1st mistake. 
Stop That!

Believe it or not, the whole thing started or stemmed from an imaginary interview. 
Nothing bad ever results from an imaginary reporter interviewing you.

Hey, Are you sure we should be sharing this?
I mean, starting to sound, Well Nuts.

Oh don't worry bout it, I think we're on a good foot now.
Ok, But you know what happened last time.

You gotta be more specific.
Which last time we talking about?

Never mind.
I think we already jumped off that bridge. 

You're starting to get on my nerves. 

















After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary






Tricky Brain Timeline. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I'm crossing streams a bit here.

A recent conversation triggered nostalgia about my years traveling all over the world in search of Pez.

I couldn't help thinking how lucky I was to have had this adventure and to have visited so many countries as a byproduct of my search.

England, France, Germany, Switzerland, Sweden, Norway, Austria, Slovenia, Hungary, Czech Republic, Slovakia, South Africa and Australia.

For 10 years I traveled roughly 10 times a year.

It was a very big n unexpected adventure, that sometimes now even seems very remote n unbelievable even to me.

josh n I just look at each other with a knowing look. Our lives are very different now but yeah we did that.

Oh yeah, almost forgot Spain. Josh also went to Italy, I missed that one, kinda burned out by then.

As unbelievable as all that was, we're not done yet. Stand by for news of the next even bigger chapter.

I believe in the impossible because I have already lived it, so why not again.
How hard could it be.

Like Tink said, you just have to believe, or was it Donald Trump who said it?

Yeah Josh, We Did That n We're Gonna Do It Again. So Hang On Tight n Keep Your Hands Off The Rip Cord.

Naked Brain

Each morning I come into the office to work n write.
To my left is a row of windows facing south with a view of the woods.
Today that view is obscured by a very heavy fog.
I can't see beyond the tree line.

This type of very heavy fog is a rare occurrence.

It's very disconcerting.
I take comfort in gazing at the familiar n unchanging.

I know whats there, it's always there. 
Today the familiar is shrouded, unclear.

I must have faith in something that I can no longer see.

I'm sure tomorrow the fog will lift and once again my woods will reveal itself.
Today though the fog leaves me in isolation, unsure. 

Originally this post was going to be a comparison of the methods people use online to attract followers. Basically how some of us are either dropping our pants or exposing our brains. How both are actually a form of nudity.

I deleted the content.

I always follow back after someone follows me on twitter.
I always friend back on facebook.
except pages I consider not in good taste.


From previous post. deleted because of low views.
recently a timeline on my life was requested.
As I've said I do not live in the past.
Each day is a new beginning.
Yesterday is a previous life.
But asked, I obey.

Timeline

3 - 11 Fighting trouble. Locked in school closets.

11 - 13 isms n crazy entered my brain, quit fighting, cousins brothers friends, just to many to fight

15 started drinking, brought home by cops drunk

16 thru 19 doing drugs, all drugs

17 n 18 joined marine corp. 30 days, Max security county jail.

early 19 got married n separated

late 19 met Kathy. been together since the day we met.

By 20 quit drugs n drinking never looked back

Crazy though lasted intensely 11 - 43

43 - 53 Pez years

6 to 7 year hiatus from crazy

50 to 60 crazy returned a bit

43 to present Pez Outlaw years

60 to present much better

see Chapter 11. Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, #... for more details.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary





I Believe #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw.

Destiny is the result of decades of hard work.You must be in the right place at the right time with the right idea, prepared to meet destiny.
Timing, Tick the right Boxes, meet the moment in time with the story that reflects the mood.
Will the audience identify with the character, does he reflect them?
Is the character likable, is he sympathetic?
Will the audience root for him to win?

My interests and what I've been compelled to do have met timing several times so far in my life.
Will Pez Outlaw be bigger than my Pez years themself, I don't know.
I do know If you wait for destiny unprepared, you will most likely die medicated.
Life hands you nothing, you must fight for what you want.

Don't think that I can not see how what I do looks like from your perspective.
I can n I do, but when Pez Outlaw succeeds then you will realize how relentless you must be to achieve success and how foolish you will look in the eyes of others doing what it takes to achieve it. People only get it once it works.

The amount of time n work required to achieve your destiny leaves most by the side of the road.
To most you will appear insane because of the blind dedication required to rendezvous with destiny.
Your belief in yourself and your ability to get there must be matched by the time required.
You're going to leave a lot of people behind who tire of your dedication to the goal.
Only your truest friends will survive the journey.
It's the natural way of things.

What's been interesting is this.
In the beginning all I faced was doubt on all fronts as to the wisdom of my choice.
People got on with there lives while I continued in isolation.
For a decade polite comments on various accomplishments but still doubt.
Then a shift in the winds due to visible motion.
Faces that had been gone reappeared, interest rose for a time.
Now I wait again in isolation.

Very soon the jury will render it's verdict.
If the answer is Yes Forward, I will be thought a genius n everybody will say they knew I could do it. They had faith all along.
If the answer is No, the answer will appeal to human nature.
If not me then why you.
It's a spin on I'm Ok you're Ok.
Meaning if I achieve something through 15 years of hard work, the other person feels somehow less for not doing so. 
So better I fail than there sense of self worth be called into question.

I chose work.
I chose blind dedication.
I chose to sacrifice 15 years to get here.
You or they chose whatever it was you chose.

I've watched the disappointment of people who wish for Life but don't put in the time.
Years n decades are required to accomplish anything meaningful.
You are going to be alone in your belief that you can do it. 
People are going to look at you like you are crazy n it helps if you are.

Any time your goal falls outside normal thought.
"Normal" people are not going to see the good sense in your choice, especially if the odds look ridiculously not in your favor.
So approval had best not be needed by you in your quest.

Blind Determination, Dedication, Belief n to be honest the type of brain where honestly there is no other choice. You just simply must.

Jeff has said "Are You Ready for what's coming"?
I guess we'll see.
I think if I can watch it somewhat detached, not as the object of interest but as a fellow observer.
Then I think I'll be OK.
I believe that I have reasonable expectations and a realistic idea of how long the lights will be on.
I'm ready n I want to walk away. 
I seek closure as I have since 1998.

All I've ever wanted was to correct/fix what happened, to finish what I started.
I did not choose this fight but I did decided not to walk away.

So that's where we are.
After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Friday, January 6, 2017

When Captain Kangaroo Was COOL! #pezoutlaw #hollywood

1955 was a wonderful year.
When you are 4 years old you have no idea what's cool, you like what you like.

If I wanted to sound cool I'd say Howdy Doody but the real show I remember watching was Captain Kangaroo.
Be honest, would you tell your friends that Captain Kangaroo was your favorite childhood TV show. 
Maybe the most uncool thing you could say, even though it is in all likelihood the truth.

Here's a good example, 3 days ago Wally Gator, El Kabong etc, lots of response because they are considered cool cartoons. 
Today Captain Kangaroo TRUTH, zero response, uncool.
Gotta admit I am naturally drawn to things that are considered uncool.
Uncool fits me like an old pair of gloves.

No problem because truth be told, I am uncool.
At least I hope I am. 
I've seen what's considered cool today.
Yeah, I wanna be the opposite of that, Thank You Very Much. 

I admit to being deeply contrarian. 
I am compelled in the opposite direction of any crowd.
Y'all are goin that way, cool, I'll go this way. 
I don't wanna see the same thing you all will see, I wanna see something different.

Robert "Bob" Keeshan aka Captain Kangaroo. June 27, 1927 – January 23, 2004
Captain Kangaroo was on TV from October 3, 1955 to December 8, 1984 CBS

Bob Keeshan aka Captain Kangaroo was the original Clarabell The Clown on the Howdy Doody show.

I watched Howdy Doody, I know that I must have, it was the in show of my childhood.
Funny thing though I don't have any memories of watching the Howdy Doody show.
I do though have a ton of memories of Captain Kangaroo. 

In 1960 Bob Keeshan aka Captain Kangaroo, tried a new character of Mister Mayor for 1 year on CBS.

Bob Keeshan as Captain Kangaroo
Mr. Green Jeans was played by
Hugh Brannum
Cosmo Allegretti as Moose, Mr. Bunny Rabbit, Grandfather Clock n Dancing Bear
Though how we got here today was that it occurred to me this morning that Tom Terrific was probably my first cartoon.
In 1955 I was 4 years old, which coincided with the birth of the Captain Kangaroo show.
This give or take a year or 2 was also about the time we got our first TV.
For sure though, 4 years old was when I became truly aware of TV n could understand it. 
At 4 years old no school yet but I did watch Captain Kangaroo every morning.

So Tom Terrific was in all likelihood my first cartoon show.


Tom Terrific

Mighty Manfred The Wonder Dog

Crabby Appleton
In My Element.
Did you really just start a fight about Captain Kangarooooooo,
YUP!
No, wait, What?

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

The World Is Scary #Istandwithpolice #pezoutlaw #hollywood

Pez Outlaw Diary Book publishing rights 4sale by owner 75k 

5 good honest police officers  assassinated in Dallas n 3 more in Baton Rouge. 
To the men n women who protect n serve, we love n support you.
I would rather have zero followers/"friends", than be on the shameful side of this.
God Bless the Police, all our thoughts n prayers are with you. 

At a point we just have to say enough, I will be silent no more.
I stand with the police. PERIOD!
Please retweet #Istandwithpolice 

Yes I'm pissed off. #Istandwithpolice

Off topic, you know how people say that they get cyber bullied for saying stuff.
Gotta tell ya, I never hear Boo. 
I should bottle crazy as a Troll repellent.


The world is a scary place.
 Like Brit Hume just said, I could just crawl back in bed.

Turkish??? shot down a Russian plane and the pilots were shot. 
The bombing at Turkish airport.
Then an attempted Coup.
A terrorist attack in Egypt.

This week a terrorist attack at a big hotel in Africa.
weeks ago Paris 130 dead at the hands of terrorists.
49 dead in Orlando. 
14 dead in San Bernardino.
Last week 86 dead again in France.




Armed military at airports and public transportation around the world.

For the first time today I heard an ex Navy Seal wonder where the line is that puts Nuclear weapons on the table. Almost 4,000 US soldiers dead in 14 years. They have the right to ask.

Trump says bring back water boarding. This is just this mornings rundown. The news each day can make it hard to get out of bed.

Of course all these things are relevant to your life, so vote your conscience at all levels come November. On a personal level though, how do you act.

Each new day is a gift, live it well. Behave personally in a proper responsible manner.
With family, friends and people you meet, keep any angry, aggressive or hateful thoughts to yourself.
Down South they have a way of dealing with Soul Suckers or rude people. They just say Bless Your Heart n politely move on.
Remember, in life almost always the things that you do not say are more important than the things you do say.
Be quick with a handshake, a hug or a kind word.

Me, I also tell a lot of stories about animals.
How kind n loving the horses n dogs are.
I love to point out the progress each are making.

Crazy one.
Yesterday Billy dog was barking at Roz/horse. Roz was grabbing at an uncut bale. Billy is beginning to have an opinion about that n things. Nat/Kathy's protege, scolded Billy. You know hardly ever wrong to tell Billy to knock it off.
I explained, not in recrimination, more lawyering for Billy.
I'm kinda going slow letting Billy have her head, letting her get some thoughts, then my hope is over time to guide her thoughts in useful directions.
So long as Billy is only barking I'm OK.

Sometimes like a child when the world is scary what people need is a good story.
Crazy/weird helps.

Yes I could be justifiably accused of hiding in my world from one I can not change.
But if each of us led good decent lives wouldn't that take care of a lot of it.
Beyond that all you can do is vote your conscience.


Kathy is the one that goes out into the world, I stay home.
But isn't everyone always sayin that you should leave your dog at home.
Anyway. My head is better today. I don't seem to suck as much.


Enough of world news for today. I'm tuning to Willie's Roadhouse till Billy Dog says it's chore time. 

One final thought. There are to many terrorists in the world n not enough Story Tellers.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




Put On Your Big Girl Panties #pezoutlaw

The ladies here on the horse farm will say "Put On Your Big Girl Panties" to each other when it's time to step out of your comfort zone n get something done. I've always thought it a catchy way of saying that.

Best if a man never says  "Put On Your Big Girl Panties". Not a good idea at all.

Here's the deal. God bless n it's none of my business, I accept that. What women talk about or how they talk in private is there business.

BUT! I just need to know why men working real hard on a shingle roof in 100 degree temperature don't get the same consideration. The harder men are working, I mean serious sweat in your nethers really working, the rougher the language n topics can become.

A man knows better than to walk up on a woman's serious conversation or at least he oughta. I'm just asking for the same. When men are busting it, don't give them looks for there words, turn your ears off. The language of a hard work site helps deal with the shit your dealing with.

So put on your big girl panties n let us get on with it.

post script.
There are Ladies around here that bust there asses right along side, manure, hay etc.
Guys don't be asses, tone it down.
If a women is working at your side bale for bale, show her the respect she's due. Watch your mouth.

Here's a suggestion guys. When the work crew is male and female, crazy is a very good substitute.
Josh, Matt n I were laughing so hard last time we did hay that I almost choked sucking in hay, when doing 6 high. No idea what actual lunacy was.

The above was only relating to those truly shitty jobs that are ours alone.

Kathy works pretty hard every day n when it's getting to her, I know enough to tread lightly.
If I don't, I'll get my ass handed to me. Those Brodebeck women are not to be trifled with.

Time will tell if I made it out of this one intact.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary




The Impossible, Why Not #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

Yesterday for whatever reason Kathy looked at me n said How are we gonna handle all this.

Kathy seemed to be having a dawn or revelation of the impact of a coming storm.

I have not seen a unicorn yet but I expect to in the next few days. Don't ask me why but I believe that this is gonna happen. Maybe it's because daily I deal with the thought that I've got roughly 2 decades left, then none of it matters anyway. So I flip that n say, Why Not.

Which also was part of my answer on how we handle what I believe is coming. Why not, because life should be about the impossible becoming reality.

Plus this whole thing has been packaged into an entity. That entity is no longer me, it's a character that I have been in charge of writing his history for a decade now. So Why Not.

This would be naive of me if I hadn't already been down this road once before. I've already made the mistakes that the coming storm will bring. To that point. During the last decade as I have prepared Pez Outlaw I have gotten my feet firmly replanted on the ground as to what's important n what is not. I had no choice, poverty is a strict teacher. I've also instituted protocols to handle any outside noise or distraction.

Last time I was in the middle of the storm like Billy Dog running round n round. This time by the very nature of what I've constructed I will be outside looking in.

That's the plan anyway.

One final note. To my core I understand what is real n what are things other people enjoy or think cool. Others thought the story in Playboy was my dream come true. NO, not even in the ballpark. The story in Playboy was a means to an end. I had no feeling about it at all. You know good for Jeff, hats off n all that but in my life my reality, no. Think about it, how shallow n meaningless would my life be if a story in Playboy made my life worth living. No!

I Still owe the bank a bit over $150,000.00 from the Pez Outlaw years, that debt must be paid. That matters. Making some overdue changes here on the farm, that matters, that's important. Making it so Kathy does not have to work so hard, THAT MATTERS!

Best stop before I say more than I should or am allowed.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Thursday, January 5, 2017

5 stages of grief #pezoutlaw #hollywood


The K├╝bler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief, postulates a series of emotions experienced by survivors of an intimate's death, wherein the five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

With everything happening right now this has many applications n meanings.
That said, let's leave the broader analysis to better minds n better writers. 
I'm only an expert on my own experiences.

I've had an 18 year journey with the 5 stages of grief.
My entire life I felt an emptiness n longing for something.
In the 1990s in my 40s I finally felt I'd found the thing I'd been searching for.

In later years our lives are comprised of our memories.
With each of us one section of our life stands out to us as that time period that defines us.
For some it's High School, others it's war n the brotherhood they experienced, Birth, children n family.
My life defining period where I lived as I had dreamed to my whole life were my years as Pez Outlaw.

It's not important that my dreams manifested in the form of Pez dispensers.
What's important is that my yearning to achieve purpose n success independently was finally in my grasp.

I'd found my muse in Pez, something I could shape to find meaning and achieve my life's yearnings.
All went well for quite a while, I thought I finally had the world by the tail.

At the end of a decade I realized sometimes you think you've got the gator when in reality, the gator has you.
I set myself up for disaster when I brokered a 1/2 million dollar deal with Pez Corporation, unable to realize the treachery that lay just around the corner.

After years of beating Pez Corporation at every turn, I had begun to believe I was invincible.
I started believing my own myth.

What followed is well documented in Pez Outlaw Diary so I won't bore you here.
The short of it is I lost every penny.

That was 1998 n the year I started the 5 stages of grief that actually lasted for the next 18 years.

Denial
For the next 3 years 1998 thru 2001 I refused to accept what had happened n fought with everything I had to beat Pez Corporation.
In true David vs Goliath fashion I had a few wins.
I destroyed the marketability of the product that had been produced to destroy me.
I also believe that what I call The Pez Color War (see  C12. The Day I Died) led to the retirement of the President of Pez USA Scott McWhinnie.  

Reality though was my wins came at a very deep cost.
I lost almost everything I'd spent over 20 years building.
So, Denial I think covers it pretty good.
 
Anger
In 2001 I reached my anger phase which manifested itself as my book Pez Outlaw Diary , which I spent most of the next decade writing n rewriting.
My anger n hatred was palpable, I was like a mean old dog with a bone.
I honestly don't blame all the folks that ran away, just tired of hearing it.     

Bargaining
Bargaining took 2 forms, both of which occurred more or less at the same time starting in 2011. 
I created ebay listings for Pez Outlaw Diary  ,one to publish it as a book n the other for the movie rights.
At the same time I also created a chapter ( C13. Hollywood or Bust  )that can only be described as bargaining on many levels.

Depression
After the initial high of my genius plan (Sarcasm Sheldon) in bargaining, which lasted a year or so came depression.
My depression lasted about 3 years, say 2012 to 2015.
Depression is probably why I behaved like such a jerk to the Hollywood producer who initially contacted me in 2014.

Acceptance
In 2015 when Jeff Maysh contacted me about writing his story, I was finally at the acceptance stage in my grief.
I realized Pez Outlaw Diary had gone as far as I could take it, so this time I said yes. 
Jeff flew out from California n spent a weekend doing his interview.
Jeff's story The Pez Outlaw has since won 2 awards.

As jeff was in his car leaving I asked him to roll down his window.
Hey Jeff you should contact X movie producer who contacted me a year ago, I owe him for my jerk behavior.

Jeff did contact X movie producer n I am currently under contract for movie n book rights.
No comment beyond that.

So there are my 5 stages of grief.
see you at the movies.

Christmas Lights in Mid July.
Complete laziness or thinking ahead?
Well over halfway there, starting to look like a go getter.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary


Pez Outlaw - You're Welcome. #pezoutlaw

To My way of thinking there is no limit to the potential of the character Pez Outlaw.

The only limits to his success are the limits of the imagination of the writer.

Sinister but what the hell. 
What if the whole Pez thing n the Pez Outlaw character was only a cover used by an International Hit-man.

In context, after all this is Notes From The Asylum, So International Assassin, Why Not?
Were all those faxes to Germany about Pez Guns actually coded messages about weapons procurement? No wait that would make Pez Outlaw an International Arms Dealer not an Assassin. HMMMM, that's a possibility.

You tie all the timetables of Pez Outlaws travels to High profile assassinations all over the globe.
You're welcome.

The story of the travel, the crazy. That's just the premise to build from, a framework of facts to anchor the story.

Imagination could carry the rest. Like I've said go nuts, I just do not care.

After all, better to be busted for smuggling than as an International Assassin.

Do you really believe Pez Outlaw made all those Millions just buying n selling Pez? 

Pez Outlaw would not even get out of bed on a Hit for less than One Million Dollars. 

All I can tell you is this. When a certain writer from California we all know n love came here. I took him for a walk in the woods, where we came on a couple of prepared holes in the ground. The look on his face was "What The Hell?"

the holes are all filled in now.

It's the Asylum not Harvard. You expected poetry?

sorry took me a minute to catch that you're thing. 

The Time Travel one I will admit is only to emphasize silly.  

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Inoculating Against Celebrity. #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I've always understood that if you seek to rise from the crowd, you become a target.
People who are condemned to mediocrity or failure need to find a reason or consolation for why you rose n no matter how hard they try, they can not. Some form of consolation. Therefore you must have cheated, been dishonest or simply are not a good person.

Mediocrity demands a tethered Goat.
Think I'm overly harsh? Look at all the examples of the mighty who fall n the glee that there decent is gossiped about.

That is precisely why when I started writing Pez Outlaw Diary I knew I had better expose my own skeletons myself. I knew that if I did not disclose everything myself, that the very second I achieved anything with Pez Outlaw Diary somebody would come along wishing to grab some limelight by telling tales.

So I wrote Chapter 11. Crazy Is Easy If You Are Motivated, S... . I knew that no matter how embarrassing my past might be, I wanted to achieve whatever was possible only with it being all out there, every step of the way.

What I did not figure into my reasoning was that CRAZY would become part of the persona of Pez Outlaw. Crazy became that part that was interesting n made him tick. Crazy is now an integral part of the Pez Outlaw brand.

Political strategists will always advise, get it all out there early, so that it can become old news.
The newer trend is to own it. Don't let others bully you with it.
So Pez Outlaw is Crazy. Yes of course he is, what's your point?

You used Heroin when you were a young man. Yes, what's your question?
Did you use other drugs as a young man? Yes, everything I could get my hands on.
Were you ever diagnosed as a schizophrenic? Yes, among other things, yes.
Have you ever been in jail? Yes, 30 days maximum security.

I've been told that very soon my life will be in the spotlight.
I figured I better highlight my negatives again before somebody else does.
To say the least, I am not a perfect person.
I strive to change, be better.

The Good n the bad, I am Pez Outlaw.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Elasticity of Reality #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw

I've been thinking a lot lately about reality and the myth/urban legend of Pez Outlaw.
The thought that my willpower can make Pez Outlaw whatever I want him to be.
That through determination and work I can affect the outcome of what's already in motion.
It's not enough to hook the fish, you actually have to get it into the boat n to the table for eating.

I have big dreams for Pez Outlaw, I need to work every day to see those dreams become reality.
I believe that I can influence the outcome.

What Pez Corporation is missing in all of this is, the perspective.
Who n What people perceive Pez Outlaw to be.
Daily I try to shape that perception.
In the end Pez Outlaw will be what people believe him to be, not a historical set of facts.

My goal is to help shape that persona.
I want Pez Outlaw to be about the struggle, the fight, the will power, the refusal to give up or give in.
It would be really cool if Pez Outlaw gave people hope, made them believe that you the little people could actually stand up for yourselves n win.
That money and power could be beaten by nothing more than your mind.

Call me crazy but I do believe that I can shape my reality with my mind, determination, the Internet and time.

Pez Corporation you are missing the point and that point is perception.
I refuse to accept the reality of Pez Corp the behemoth international all powerful colossus.
You Pez Corp are nothing more than a player in my story and I'm The writer of that story.

Very soon Pez Corp you will understand why Scott McWhinnie became so obsessed with Pez Outlaw. You will find an affinity with why Pez Outlaw drove Scott McWhinnie NUTS and made him do irrational things.

One final thought. 
Anybody from Pez Corporation could stand right in front of me today n I'd have no idea who they are.
I guarantee you that they all know who Pez Outlaw is. See what I mean, perspective.
It's the same as the old days when the Austrian executive saw me in Ormoz Slovenia n said "I Know Who You Are". Then abruptly turned n scurried off to the nearest land line.

I can write this because what, am I afraid you might think I'm crazy.
Look around you, we're in the Asylum.

After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary

My Beard Took A Left #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw


My brain seems to have followed.
The real question is. Who put my Beard in charge of today's post?
Chicken n Egg dilemma. If my beard jumped off a bridge, would I? 
Separation anxiety n fear of heights aside, NO! 
I'm just saying, at times my beard has a mind of it's own. More later.
My beard n I have been together 45 years n rarely agree.
This entire post was not of my free will, my beard threatened me.
It's an ugly situation.Told my beard, I'll write it but then you're on your own.
It's a Hell of a thing. 

The Duality of Beardyness
The left side of my beard is feeling kinda straight today.
The right side of my beard is having none of that n feelin real curly.
I guess my brain isn't the only schizophrenic part of my head.

I hope that helps. 
Perspective is everything. 
Things must be looked at in context.


Commie Pinko, Hitler Baby, Crack Weasel and Zombie Rabbit are all Asylum Favorites. 
I really wish that I was clever enough to write a story using all four characters together on one adventure. 
Truth be told even if I did it probably would only amuse me. 
Kinda like Alien vs Predator or Godzilla vs Mothra.
Reference was just an excuse to insert photo.

If any of you clever folk out there like on cartoon network wanna take a shot at a cartoon featuring Commie Pinko, Hitler Baby, Crack Weasel and Zombie Rabbit, I'm cheap n easy to deal with.

I can be bought for a few thousand bucks + residuals n 2% of the action. 

Crazy thing is, I have an agent out in Hollywood that you can contact if interested. There names escape me but Jeff knows who they are.

Imagine what the Poster for Commie Pinko, Hitler Baby, Crack Weasel and Zombie Rabbit might look like?

What do you think? Would a cartoon based on the adventures of Commie Pinko, Hitler Baby, Crack Weasel and Zombie Rabbit be out of the norm or fit right in.

To the haters that think a character called Hitler Baby is offensive. 
IT'S A JOKE FOR CHRIST SAKES! 
Also, I did not conceive of or create Hitler Baby, the press did by asking Republicans if they'd Kill Hitler Baby.
The absurdity of the question tickled me.
You know like those mean old conservatives chasing n hunting down Hitler Baby trying to kill him.
Hitler Baby hiding around corners, always on the lamb.

Weird n dark I agree, but like I said, I did not start it, I just saw the stupidity.

recieved the following tweet.
Tweet- Can you help do a shift for the annual Tu Bi'shevat Telethon either 10-1 or 1-4 shifts
my reply- If you misconstrued my love of absurdity for anything but total support of Israel my apologies.
My thoughts- confusion, I thought the joke was clear.
It is possible to support Israel and to think going back in time to Kill Baby Hitler is an absurd question to ask someone.
Then again maybe they got the joke n I'm being sensitive? 
If the question was sincere, you do know that I'm a hermit. 

Oh Yeah n there's this, you do understand that the source of these posts is a Mental Institution as per blog name.

Go Left.
To the point n not related to anything stated previously in this post.
Bed head vs Beard Head.
Somehow blankets n pillows have the same effect on a beard as getting a permanent.
When your beard is rather long this can result n often does in a sharp left like a bent arm.
Just on the weird list n very annoying.
It's a better title than story.


Kathy just taught me something.
I've never got the whole 's thing.
Always get it wrong she said because it belongs to. OK, that I understand.

By the way. This post has received 300 views in 4hrs, my grade is a B.
500 would be an A.
Billy Dog is goin sideways, gotta go. 

All in All, I'm kinda pleased with myself today. 
That's saying a lot, because our weather is severe today.
Just spent 3hrs in snow, gusting wind, 17 degrees. 
Headed back out. 1 more hour. 
I like to be out in the weather long enough to appreciate what the horses are dealing with. 
Handed out extra sweet hay again today, the horses appreciate it a lot. 

Hands Up or The Beard Gets It

wanted a pic. made this in Art Therapy
That'll get you a spot at Happy Horse Asylum, easy peasy.

Quiz, which 2 words in previous sentence are ...

Yesterdays post My Beard Took A Left #pezoutlaw #hollywood @pezoutlaw got a B in 4hrs, but went on to earn an A+ within 24hrs of post with over 500 views.
Not bad for a guy doin time in Happy Horse Asylum.

Yes I am a resident of Happy Horse Asylum, a mental institution for the rest n recuperation of damaged souls.
It's not so bad here, to pass some of the time we started a news letter called The Daily Straitjacket.
You might have seen the 2 issues that we smuggle out in the laundry.

In group therapy sessions my beard n I have been going at each other for 6 months now.
Quite the brouhaha. I think marriage counseling would serve our conflict better.
My biggest problem with my beard is he's such an arrogant bastard.
Everything is about the beard.

I got so mad at my beard 2 weeks ago that I cut 4 inches off.

Well that didn't go down well. 
Neither did the stream of beard short jokes that followed.

My main form of therapy besides writing here at Happy Horse Asylum is caring for the horses.
In the real world a feller that talks to horses n dogs gets the eye, round here it's not all that unusual.
The weather has been kinda cold n windy but we're all doing well.

The Old Man (horse) is looking really good for 36, that's like 100 in people years.
He n Johnny (horse) give me a real hard time when I haul the hay around at feeding time.
Johnny n the Old Man yank bales off the tractor like big ole farm boys n just toss them.
Not to mention the scrum at the front of the tractor, where the action is.

I gotta tell ya, it just doesn't seem like I have as much time to do things as I used to.
Yes 18 horses as opposed to 12-14 takes more time.
Though I think the real problem is that I'm movin around slower now.
I use old man walk to rest while doing stuff, so stuff naturally takes longer.
Some old guys just keep ramming around, then they fall over.
To me pace is everything. I can still do the things I used to, but pace will determine how long I get to do it.

Horse Poo Projects, The Department of HPP.
HPP continues, snow n cold weather don't stop the flow.
It comes so I move it.
Thank God for my new snow chains I bought on ebay.
I only put chains on the front tires, but with 4 wheel drive it's all I really need.
So far the tractor has conquered all.
Which by the way is great because I use the tractor a lot to increase my capabilities n endurance.

I can't wait to plant the new Wild Flower patches, the beds are all prepped.
Josh brought over a big sack of Sun Flower seeds, will make a very nice addition.
I guess that's what you do in winter, look forward to spring.

Everybody is going lotto nuts.
Kathy is in 2 groups buying tickets.
I'm probably the only person on planet earth that hopes she does not win.
1.5 Billion is just to much money.
One tenth of 1.5 billion is to much money, life would become to complicated.
I could handle 2 to 5 million but 1.5 billion, that's just stupid. 
There should be a Lotto rule that each increment of 100 million n the lotto splits.
200 million is 2 drawings that nigt of 100 million each.
1.5 billion is 15 drawings in one night for 100 million each.
1.5 billion in one pot is just stupid.
 


Why Not?

Just measured the length of my beard. 
12 inches from my chin.

Not important in the slightest.
Just that it's the longest my Beard has ever been

I've had a beard since 1970.
When I worked in the shop it never got longer than about 3 inches, because if it did it would always get singed off from the heat of welding or a cutting torch.

It's farrier day which means Henry (Amish) is here to trim the horse's hooves.
Henry is the best, so I guess you could say I have an Amish friend.
Seems like every few years Henry gets a new apprentice from the Amish community.
Did you know that if your a young Amish man you are not allowed to grow a beard unless you are married.
The young man Henry has right now is unmarried.
I asked him when he was getting married. He said at one point that he wasn't sure he was going to marry.
I told him that I'd get married just so I could grow a beard.

I warned Henry a while back that if things keep going like they are he n his community might become real popular.

I will end this vacuous post with the following.
I have no immediate plans to trim my beard.
Think about it.
If unnamed people actually make the movie wouldn't I make a more interesting old coot to do PR on behalf of Pez Outlaw with a beard down to there.


After Pez Outlaw, I intend to retire.
new profile pic captures my essence





Pez Outlaw Diary